One of the best parts of my job is getting to read all sorts of different stories written by Zimbabweans. Fungai Machirori emailed Kubatana with her recent experience of buying a take-away, and in so doing, getting a bit more than she had bargained for . . .

I hate thieves. There’s nothing like working hard to get something that you really want, valuing it with the sweat that it’s worth, and then having someone come along with the audacity to snatch it away from you with their grimy hands. No doubt we’ve all had a share of this experience at some point in our lives: our money, our property, our livelihoods – all stolen from out of our unsuspecting grasp. Unfortunately, I too have a recent example of an act of robbery against me to tell.

Just this Saturday, I was a victim of a theft I believe was induced by the sorry desperate state of our nation and its people. After an excruciatingly long week of hard toil at work, I decided to treat myself by buying a six-piece box of fried chicken from a popular take-away chain that recently slashed its once over-inflated prices. “You’ve earned it,” I thought to myself, imagining how good the food would taste back home, once shared with family.

After the characteristically long wait in the take-away queue, I made my way through the Harare city streets, quite excited about my recent acquisition – it’s not everyday that people in Zimbabwe buy take-aways, you know! Wanting only to get home and feed my own hunger, I thought nothing of the voracious pairs of eyes I noticed lustfully undressing the maroon box in my hands. But, as I stood along a wide-tarred street, waiting for the traffic to thin out, my worst fear was realised. Noticing that my concentration was more on the road than anything else, a man in dirty clothes simply came up behind me, snatched my box of chicken, and then ran like his life depended on it.

Because it all happened so fast, I experienced a silent instant during which my brain failed to register the injustice that had just befallen me. But it was only an instant. For in the very next second, I was hot on my feet, pumping adrenaline in pursuit of my thief. “Hey, you!” I shouted as I sprinted like a trained Olympian. “Come back with my food!”

He probably hadn’t bargained for my energetic pursuit of him, figuring that a ‘girl’ wouldn’t even try. And he probably hadn’t bargained for the fact that I would shout an instruction to all passers-by ahead to grab hold of this thief who had just had stolen from me. And so less than a hundred metres into our encounter, he relented, falling onto the ground, handing me back my box.

My anger was evident, and I made it known to him by giving him a disapproving click of my tongue and telling him never to try to pull such a stunt over me again. “He’s just hungry,” reasoned two of the by-standers who had seen what had happened.

So did his hunger give him the right to steal from me? I didn’t give voice to this thought, but I took slight offence at the fact that I, as a victim, could somehow be painted as the bad person for having chased after what was rightfully mine.  Just because he might have perceived me as needing that box of food less than he did, didn’t give him the right to act on this assumption. Besides, I work hard and long to get money to fulfil my desires. My sweat, my money, my rewards.

I understand how Zimbabwe’s economic retrogression has forced many of its citizens to adopt activities they wouldn’t normally consider. To a certain extent, we have all become corrupt – some have left professional jobs to become illegal foreign and local currency dealers (whom most of us buy money from),others have crossed our porous borders into neighbouring countries, without legal documentation. And yes, some have resorted to theft as a means of survival.

So am I therefore a hypocrite if I condemn theft, but accept all other forms of maladies blighting our country? I don’t think so. Unlike the other examples of crime I have offered, theft is a self-seeking, no-cost, all-gain activity. Whereas the dealer on the street is hustling to try to make a living, the thief lets you do all the work for him or her, and then comes along to put their grubby fingers on your loot.

Some thieves justify their ‘profession’ by stating that they have been forced into this form of subsistence. With start-up capital (both mental and financial) lacking within their reserves, they simply resort to the simplest job on earth – stealing the benefits of another person’s toil.

“He should have asked for some of your food, instead,” observed a woman who’d watched the whole scene. That’s hardly likely to have worked, which is why I suppose my thief took the easier route. How many of us honestly stop to share our food with the hobos and street children? How many of us really make the suffering of anyone beyond our circle of friends and family ours?

Maybe that is why they steal from us. They’ve tried over and over again to beg for our scraps and left-overs. And still, we’d sooner overfeed ourselves than help any one of them out. Legendary Zimbabwean musician, Chiwoniso, highlights this societal contrast in her song ‘Iwai Nesu’ (God, be with us), when she sings:

Vamwe vaparara nenzara/ Some have died from hunger
Vamwe vachifa nekuguta/ (While) Some are dying from overeating

So, maybe theft is how they avenge our callousness; how they rebel against our moral unjustness.

But no matter what their reasons, I still hate thieves – the type that snatch, the ones who raid and pillage shops, homes and other private properties; even human bodies. And yes, I also hate political thieves – the type who snatch and rape democracy, who raid and pillage hopes and other private thoughts. Perhaps I shouldn’t direct all my anger towards the street robber who’s stealing to survive. Maybe I should rage at his mentors, instead – those seemingly ‘upright’ leaders wearing smart ties and suits bought with the blood and dejection of the robbed masses.

Stanley Kwenda interviews Joy Mabenge. This interview was originally published here

Following an extraordinary Summit of SADC heads of state in Pretoria on Jan. 26-27, it was announced that a unity government is to be formed in Zimbabwe, apparently resolving months of disagreement following a power-sharing agreement in September 2008. That agreement, signed by Robert Mugabe of the Zimbabwe African National Union Patriotic Front (Zanu-PF), Morgan Tsvangirai of the Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) and Arthur Mutambara, leader of a smaller breakaway faction of the MDC, ran into immediate difficulties due to differences over how government posts should be distributed. Despite the SADC announcement, the MDC says that it will only make a final decision about joining a unity government after a high-level party meeting in Harare on Jan. 30.

Joy Mabenge is an Associate Fellow at the Johannesburg-based Institute for an Democratic Alternative for Zimbabwe (IDAZIM), a think tank centred around the development of policy and democratic issues as well as the writing of development papers on the political transitition in Zimbabwe.

Mabenge spoke to IPS in his personal capacity.

IPS: SADC has announced that the two parties have agreed to form a new government, but MDC is insisting they are yet to make a decision . . . what should be the way forward?

Joy Mabenge: There seems to be no consensus, but if MDC gets into the unity government, they need to ensure that the monitoring mechanism is put to full use and strongly push for the resolution of their other concessions. Or they should just declare that the talks are over and come up with a Plan B.

What should this Plan B look like, in your view?

MDC will have to mobilise people to go against president Mugabe’s government, because obviously – with or without the MDC – he will move to form a government now.

What should be the response of civil society organisations, which have for a long time been involved in lobbying for the establishment of a fairly representative government? How should they move forward?

The original standpoint of the civic groups was the establishment of a transitional authority headed by a neutral person. They should revert to that position and push for pro-people concessions under this transitional authority. such as the establishment of a new people-driven constitution which will lead to an internationally-supervised election – ensuring that the bloodshed witnessed in June last year do not happen again. But if MDC gets into the new government, then it is the duty of the civic groups to make sure that the MDC doesn’t relax and end up being absorbed by Zanu-PF.

At the moment it appears the MDC may get into the government with a heavy heart. What sort of international support is needed to make sure that this experiment works for the better of ordinary Zimbabweans?

Its a tricky one. It will heavily depend on how international donors perceive the SADC proposal, since they have previously stated that they will not give support to an establishment where Mugabe retains all the significant power. I foresee inaction for the first six months of the implementation of the government, a sort of a wait-and-see depending on how Mugabe chooses to treat the MDC as partners in government.

SADC appears to view a unity government as the solution to Zimbabwe’s problems. Are there any alternative courses of action for the democratic movements in Zimbabwe?

In the event that MDC decide not to go into the government, then civil society organisations should continue what they have been doing, organising street protests, through Women of Zimbabwe Arise and National Constitutional Assembly’s (NCA) for example. They should coordinate and sustain civil disobidience, urging people to withdraw their loyalty to a Mugabe led government. There is a fertile ground for that, with all the long strikes in the education and health sectors. The key this time is to simply work out a plan to sustain these actions until the government is pressurised out of power.

Joy Mabenge’s views in this article are entirely his own, and do not necessarily reflect the those of the Institute for an Democratic Alternative for Zimbabwe

Here is an excerpt from an article by Tendai Dubutshena writing for Zimbabwe Times.

The obvious question the National Council must ask is whether these issues have been addressed. Honest answers must be provided by leader Morgan Tsvangirai and his negotiation team. No spin. No lies. No vague empty promises. Only straightforward answers will do. From the information available, including that contained in the official SADC communiqué the answer is an emphatic no. Promises were made that issues raised by the MDC would be looked into but none were partially or fully addressed. The MDC got nothing from the summit. If the party is to honour its own resolutions it should not be part of an inclusive government. There are those who argue that the MDC has no alternative to joining this government. What utter rubbish. The alternative is to continue the struggle for freedom, justice and democracy.  If the MDC leadership no longer has the stomach for the struggle it should say so. They should not tell people lies. None of their demands were met or will ever be met. Joining under such circumstances is capitulation.

Having just read Amanda’s blog, so aptly titled Operation Flip Flop, I wanted to remind her about this recent quote from the Movement for Democratic Change (MDC)

The mistake that Zanu-PF is making is to imagine that we are desperate to be in the government. We are not in a hurry to be chauffeur-driven. We are a people-driven party. ~ Nelson Chamisa National Spokesperson for MDC

Dr Alex Magaisa looks for laughs, and takes a completely different tack from the usual political commentators, in this recent piece on the Government of National Unity (GNU). Bobby, an 84, soon to be 85 year old  man writes to Aunt Rhoda, Zimbabwe’s resident agony aunt, for some advice on his September marriage and how to deal with his new wife.

Letter to Aunt Rhoda

Dear Aunt Rhoda,

I am an 84 year old man, soon to be 85 and desperately need your help as I’m am going through a very sticky patch.

After an on-off relationship and a tempestuous courtship, I finally married my girlfriend in September 2008, a mere two months after our engagement. I had to get it done quickly before she could entertain a change of mind, as has happened before, to my extreme discomfort.

It was a beautiful wedding, presided over by a long standing and loyal friend who flew all the way from South Africa. It was right that he be there, as he had been forced to call upon his powers during the latter period of the courtship. However, problems re-emerged on the very night of the wedding, when my new bride indicated that she was not ready to join the matrimonial home. She insisted on extensive renovations and comprehensive clean-up of the household to ensure that she would have total control of the all maters to do with the home. I appreciate that in my time (and at 84 it’s been long) I have entertained different types but I thought she would use her vantage position as vahosi (the wife-in-chief) to do all she wanted upon her arrival in the house. Her reaction was an unpleasant surprise that caused me enormous shame and humiliation among my peers.

Normally, I would have dispensed with her company there and then. The trouble is I desperately need this woman at this point in my life. She is the bridge between the looming penury that I face and the greener pastures that only her company can provide, although this is a fact that I will not admit publicly. My business empire is crumbling and I stand to lose everything, so I have had to literally beg her. I have tried to put some pressure through my usual tried and tested ways but this has, so far, yielded nothing. Absolutely nothing but pain and sleepless nights! I have to admit that I am in the biggest fix of my life.

I am very sure that my new wife loves me otherwise she would not have put that signature on the marriage certificate. This much I know because her parents, my new in-laws absolutely hate me. They did not even attend the wedding. They have never liked me one bit and think that I am old and tired. The reality, auntie, is that even though I’m 84, I consider myself a ‘young old man’. I don’t see myself appealing to the walking stick any time soon and I am fitter than a 30 year old. Her friends have not been helpful; in fact, some of them are just consumed by envy and jealousy so all they do feed her lies about me. Just recently she spent two months ensconced at one of her friends’ home. That friend is one of those unmarried types who have never been seen in male company and I fear she might cause my new wife to do a ‘cross-over’ (you know what I mean auntie) and do all those things that even pigs dare not attempt. It is that fear which fills me with real rage and I have had to exercise the greatest patience to restrain myself.

Auntie, my new wife is not exactly in the build or looks of Cleopatra nor is she a female version of Einstein when it comes to the intellect and I thought she had done a wonderful thing to accept my favour. If she did not have those bags of silver and gold, I very much doubt that any man, let alone I, would look twice at her. But I want her to know that I love her very dearly. In fact, her hard-to-get antics have caused me to value her very dearly. What I cannot do however, to confide in you auntie, is to display this affection too publicly and to be seen to be publicly grovelling for her company. As a man of my stature I have to maintain my dignity by not publicly conceding to all her demands. I have too many friends and hangers-on who might think I have lost my power – for it this power that I have applied to maintain my personal empire. If they think I have lost my power, my new wife could face very difficult times ahead because even I will not be able to give her the comfort and protection that she will need.

So, auntie, I want her to know that all she needs to do is to come into the matrimonial home and as soon as she is here she can do madiro akamba (whatever she pleases!). My friends and village elders have tried to persuade her but tete, arikutsika madziro (she remains adamant) zvekuti ndatopererwa ini (I am really stuck). I need whatever help you can give, even if it means you coming round to use your renowned powers of persuasion. Please, auntie – I await your response; I will be checking my email every two minutes.

Yours

Bobby

P/S I should also mention that we have a child together (we had her before marriage). The trouble is this child of ours has been fed wrong information about me and she, too, now hates me with a passion. To be disliked by your old child, auntie? It hurts!

Aunt Rhoda Replies:

Dear Bobby

Yours is a most unusual situation, Bobby and I can see that you are desperate. But you also sound like a man who is overpowered by his own arrogance. You say you love your new wife but if that is the case, why don’t you just be humble and accept her demands? After all she is going to be your wife, she will cook for you and share the matrimonial bed for life and, quite frankly, looking at the demographics that is not likely to be too long even though you prefer to describe yourself a ‘young old man’. Whatever that means, accept that you are old and as it is your arrogance is causing you to waste precious time. By the time she agrees, you might find that you will be unable to provide all that a young bride wants and she might end up finding other company, something that is sure to cause you ever greater heartache.

Forget about her parents or her friends and accept that it is your responsibility and if anything is wrong, it is purely your fault. You say you have a child together and that she hates you but again you blame it on others. Look yourself in the mirror Bobby, perhaps you have not exactly been the model dad to your child? With the pride you personally confess in your letter, I would not be surprised but you still want to offload all responsibility to others. That is your biggest vice.

Give your wife and child the respect they deserve and they might begin to warm towards you. The problem is you seem to be in the relationship for the wrong reasons; for convenience, to put it starkly and if that is the case, then she is right to worry about your intentions.

My advice is, be honest, be man enough to admit your mistakes and give your new wife what she wants. After all, you seem to be the one who needs her most.

Yours,

Aunt Rhoda

Author’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Persons named in this work do not exist, even if circumstances mirror any real life situations that readers may know, honest!

If homosexuality is a disease, let’s all call in queer to work: “Hello. Can’t work today, still queer”.
- Robin Tyler, American lesbian activist

Read about Obama’s plans to address the discrimination against members of the gay and lesbian community here.