The first time I realised that my hair was not my own was when I was twelve. The school holidays were a week away and as such, my very conservative headmistress relaxed the school rules on hair. All my friends arrived for the last week of school with long braids or relaxed hair. Being a conformist then, I wanted straight hair too. But my father, being of the Bob Marley ‘black and proud’ generation forbade it. My pouting, pleas and final resort to the blackmail of crying did nothing to move him.

‘You are an African princess’ he said, ‘you must be proud of who and what you are.’ I wasn’t comforted.

Regardless of geographical location or history all women of African descent have at one time or another succumbed to the notion that good hair is long and straight. Quoted in a New York Times article on the good hair debate Associate professor of Black Studies at the University of California at Santa Barbara, Ingrid Banks said:

“For black women, you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t, if you’ve got straight hair you’re pegged as selling out. If you don’t straighten your hair, you’re seen as not practicing appropriate grooming practices.”

That our hair is a political statement, and that in its natural state it is not considered desirable is probably one of the few things that we all have in common. So we struggle with extensions and weaves, hot combs and relaxers, in a never-ending battle to be seen as beautiful. The multitude of women on the streets of Harare with an imitation of Rihanna’s straight asymmetric-cut weave is proof of that.

It seems that beauty, as defined by the cosmetic companies that services the industry, has everything to do with being less black. Even here in Zimbabwe, amid indigenisation and empowerment, black women do not feel beautiful without some enhancement that takes away something of what makes them African. And through all of that not once have we stopped to ask ourselves “what is beautiful for me?”

“Will someone please find a wife for our PM“, screamed a recent headline in the nation’s leading family weekly newspaper.  I asked myself why the PM’s love life warranted placement on the front page ahead of stories about the appalling state of the public health care system, blatant corruption by state officials at every level, even our untold suffering under illegal sanctions.  However, because the senior writer was clearly desperate to show that it was in the nation’s best interest that the PM settles down to conventional family life, I gave the issue some consideration.

I think the state should sponsor the running of a Zimbabwean version of The Bachelor.  The PM’s situation is of national concern so requires national intervention!  Think about it.  We have all the right ingredients to produce an impressive adaptation of this reality show.

1.    We have a very eligible bachelor in the PM, and like other Bachelors from the show, what he lacks in looks he more than makes up for in his sizeable means.

2.    It is clear that physical appearance is about the only criterion used to select The Bachelor’s potential soul mates.  Our country has innumerable good-looking women so bringing together 25 for our PM to choose from should be pretty easy.  (Have you seen the beauties that are Zanu Pf Harare Province Models?)  Of course, all the ladies must be 100% local and must have high standards of cleanliness.  We are, after all, a nation renowned for valuing all things indigenous and for rejecting filth and squalor.

3.    Spectacular dates set in wonderful places are a distinct feature of the popular TV show and our local version shall not disappoint.  With many exquisite properties across the land now in the hands of the majority, the new owners will happily lease them out for our production.  Thus, with great sites for the dream dates, the PM can then court his bevy of beauties at braais, galas and rallies, hosted in scenic places, countrywide.

4.    The TV series always includes fantasy dates where The Bachelor takes each finalist separately to one of two exotic locations.  I’m sure our friends around the world would only be too glad to facilitate a tour of Pyongyang, a relaxing retreat in Malabo or a shopping trip to sunny Baghdad.

And as the process progresses, the PM will remorsefully distribute red roses (or maybe red cards, computers or farms), eliminating one broken hearted bachelorette after the other.  But in the end, just like in the reality show, The Bachelor will find true and everlasting love and he’ll seal his commitment with a dazzling diamond – a Chiadzwa stone, perhaps.

Then Zimbabwe can get on with addressing its other problems.

More than two years into Zimbabwe’s so-called “inclusive government,” events like this comment from a recent Zimbabwe Lawyers for Human Rights update are telling:

The Officer Commanding Harare Central District, Chief Superintendent G. Gwangava, is attempting to unlawfully and unprocedurally block a Peace Rally set for Saturday 19 March 2011, organized by the Movement for Democratic Change (MDC-T). Legal action is underway to ensure the rally goes ahead as planned.

The MDC is a partner in the inclusive government. The Prime Minister of Zimbabwe is the President of the MDC. The MDC shares responsibility for the Ministry of Home Affairs which , theoretically at least, oversees the police. But Police Commissioner Chihuri reports directly to Robert Mugabe, and human rights and civic freedoms are barely any more respected than they were two years ago.

Read the GPA again and remind me about the Zimbabwe it was Supposed to have fostered?

The Afrobarometer is an independent, non-partisan research project that measures the social, political, and economic atmosphere in Africa. The project conducted a survey to gauge the public perception of the Constitutional Reform Process during the final stages of COPACs Constitutional Outreach. The report, titled Public Perceptions on Constitutional Reform in Zimbabwe, focused on the perceptions of Zimbabweans on constitutional reform in terms of both the process and the content.

Some of the findings of the survey were that that awareness of the Constitution and associated issues was along the main partisan lines: 81% of those sympathetic to the MDC-T said they had heard about the Constitution compared to 73% of those aligned to ZANU-PF. Non attendance of outreach meetings was higher among MDC-M and ZAPU sympathizers at 67% and 100% respectively. Further, the survey shows that only 3% ZANU-PF sympathizers reported that anyone prevented them from attending an outreach meeting, while 7% of MDC-T sympathizers indicated the same. Popular awareness of the constitution rose with education: 66% among those who had no formal education; 70% among primary school graduates and 84% among those who completed secondary school.

Contrary to general opinion about the Constitutional Reform Process, the report is optimistic, concluding that ‘ the process can still be salvaged in such a way that the final product is a constitution that people want.’

Munyaradzi Gwisai of the International Socialist Organisation (Zimbabwe) and the five others who have been charged with treason finally went home yesterday afternoon, 17 March. They had been in police custody since 19 February, and were granted bail on 16 March.

Read more in this statement from Zimbabwe Lawyers for Human Rights

On the evening of Thursday 17 March 2011, Munyaradzi Gwisai, Antoneta Choto, Tatenda Mombeyarara, Eddson Chakuma, Hopewell Gumbo and Welcome Zimuto, were eventually released from remand prison following their successful bail application the previous afternoon.

The first to be released was Choto, from Chikurubi Maximum Women’s Prison. After a lengthy delay, her 5 fellow detainees walked out of Harare Remand Prison accompanied by prison guards and their lawyer, Alec Muchadehama. Families, friends, lawyers and media practitioners were gathered outside the gate to witness their release just short of one month after they were initially detained.

Munyaradzi Gwisai of the International Socialist Organisation (Zimbabwe) and the 5 other treason charge detainees were granted bail yesterday. The High Court judge presiding commented that the state’s case was ‘weak,’ and set bail at $2,000 each with stringent reporting conditions. They are to face trial for treason.

However, the six remain in police custody as their supporters are struggling to raise the $12,000 required to secure their release.

They are urgently appealing for funds to pay bail and allow these detainees to go home. Last night was their 26th night in police custody. Their families are suffering in the absence of their loved ones.

Contact solidarity [at] freethemnow [dot] com if you are able to contribute to the bail fundraising appeal.