In a misguided attempt to add some zing to my sex life I decided to shave my “bits” …  so Saturday morning found me doing a myriad of contortions in the bathtub, wrestling with shaving cream, my legs and the razor, the kids happily distracted by an hour of cartoons. Yes. Not the brightest idea I ever had. I didn’t cut myself. So there’s a plus. I also chose this day, of all possible days, to stop taking my antihistamines – I’ve been taking one every day for about 2 months to beat my hay fever into submission. And because I feel like I’m giving in by taking them at all, I thought I’d take a short break and test if it were actually necessary. In the big scheme of things, you understand. (I am also reading a book called “Don’t sweat the small stuff, for moms”). As it turns out, it probably will be a day I will remember five years from now.

At 9, a friend dropped off her son, and we went along to spend the day at a local school’s fun fair. The kids had a great day going down water slides, riding ponies, entering the colouring competition, pinning the eye patch on the pirate (an exciting variation to tails on donkeys) and racing around the obstacle course. I searched in vain for a patch of shade and ended up slowly roasting at 30-voetsak degrees amidst a small mountain of juice bottles and hats and clothes and towels and swimming costumes and balloons. One of which popped – I was not the most popular parent of the day. It might even have been on my cigarette – which I do not own up to!

Needless to say by 3 o’clock that afternoon I was a mass of snot with swollen-shut red eyes, sunburn, and the urge to scoot across the grass like a dog with worms (very itchy bits!) or rub myself up against a tree (obviously not fussy). 3 Castle Lites later, toilet roll (helpfully supplied by a concerned parent) clutched in free hand, a possibly erroneous feeling of control descended … the Castles are not so “Lite” after all.

Later Graham, happily home from work, cooked dinner for our unexpected guests while I threw back a vodka and coke (or two) and had a satisfying scratch. True to form, by the time I had eaten my dinner, with some fantastic red wine, acquired at the recent Big 5 Wine Festival, my eyelids were drooping, speech was slightly slurred and my enthusiasm for the rest of the evening seriously compromised.

I’d like to say the sex was worth it. But Graham came to bed eventually to find me snoring gently, my choice of adjective I must admit, fully clothed, a burst balloon at my feet – must’ve been the lone survivor.

So the news is abuzz with research and survey findings of critical political issues in Zimbabwe. Political parties have commented on the results of these surveys to support or castigate the reports based on how favourable the findings are for their political interest. Politicians, civic society and the media have met to discuss these surveys. Hot and out of the oven, is a survey commissioned by Afrobarometer and conducted by the Mass Public Opinion Institute (MPOI) of their Round 5 Survey in Zimbabwe.

The survey which was conducted by MPOI from the 16th to the 30th of July 2012 randomly selected adult Zimbabwean citizens aged 18+ in the ten provinces of the country. The randomly selected study population was both rural and urban however, it excluded people residing at institutions, police camps and barracks. A total of 2 400 adult Zimbabweans were interviewed in a face-to-face interview using Shona, Ndebele or English as preferred by the respondent. The findings to the first three questions as concluded by MPOI were:

Presidential Term Limits
-A majority of Zimbabweans (74%) want term limits for the president.
-Support for maximum term limits is high in both urban areas (83% in favor) and rural areas, where 69% support this.
-Majorities in all provinces support devolution with Bulawayo Province recording the highest number of this support.
-A huge majority of MDC-T supporters (93%) favor presidential term limits
-Opinion on presidential term limits among Zanu-PF supporters is almost equally split; 48% support the idea while half are opposed.

Citizenship
-A majority of survey respondents are in support of other forms of citizenship except dual citizenship. 72% reject dual citizenship.
-Manicaland province had the highest number of respondents (84%) against dual citizenship while Mat South boasts the highest number of respondents in support of this kind of citizenship in Zimbabwe.
-More Zanu-PF loyalists (76%) reject dual citizenship than the MDC-T supporters (67%).

Devolution of Power
-A majority of Zimbabweans (61%) are in support of devolution
-A significant proportion of survey respondents (21%) could neither agree nor disagree with the concept of devolution
-7 out of 10 provinces want to see a devolved state in Zimbabwe
-The strongest sentiment for devolution was expressed in Bulawayo

In conclusion MPOI says they wait to see if the people’s views found in the survey will be incorporated in the constitution, which is still in the making process.

“If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year.
Do you suppose,” the Walrus said,
“That they could get it clear?”
“I doubt it,” said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.

This morning the tide line at Noordhoek beach was marked with a bright trail of plastic litter
If this is the result of one high tide, what is left out there in the ocean must surely make us weep.

Today is equinox
for a few moments the planet will pass through a place of balance with the sun
equal light and dark.

How far are we from the movement of this celestial dance?

Where did  we lose awe?  the reverence?
the honouring of our relationship with this extraordinary planet we inhabit?

Are we ready,
yet,
to let ourselves feel this loss?
for perhaps it is only in this opening
that we will be ready to take the responsibility for healing our brokenness
ready to dance on waste heaps, on littered beaches
and celebrate equinox with the pain and the awe
in balance?

Tsvangirai’s appeal has faded fast.

This is Zimbabwe’s tragedy: the mantle of leadership has rested too long on the shoulders of the man who currently leads Zimbabwe, and it will sit uneasily on the man who wants to unseat him. But voters are likely to conclude that Tsvangirai is the lesser of two evils. Flawed as he is, he may just make it.

More from Petinah Gappah here

Only in Zimbabwe … how much shit from this incompetent government will we continue to tolerate?

Bulawayo City Council has come up with a system that will see all residents flushing their toilets simultaneously to prevent sewer blockages caused by the water-shedding programme.

“The public is advised that there is a need to schedule a flush exercise of the reticulation system in all areas that do not use septic tanks,” council spokesperson Nesisa Mpofu said yesterday.

“This is due to the recent water shedding programme by council, which has seen a reduced amount of water entering the sewerage system.

“All residents of Bulawayo are invited and expected to participate in this exercise.

“Every household is requested to flush their toilets systematically at 7.30pm the very day after the 72hours of water shedding.

“This is done to prevent any sewer blockages as we anticipate longer periods without water in the reticulation system.

“Please note that this is in addition to the normal flushing that will occur during the day.”

She appealed to residents to conserve water in order to minimise the impact of the shedding exercise.

Industrial and the central business district are exempt from the water-shedding programme.

Bulawayo is facing severe water shortages after two main supply dams were decommissioned.