In a story that originated with the Zimbabwe Mail, Our Dear Leader is reportedly battling for his life in Singapore. The online news publication, owned and operated in the United Kingdom, quotes a ‘senior ZANU-PF’ official who conveniently cannot be named. As with anything concerning Our Dear Leader’s health, several supposedly reputable news outlets ignored their better journalistic instincts and regurgitated the story without first checking its veracity. A Google search produces 268 reproductions of the story based on what is essentially a rumour, founded no doubt, in drunken speculation in a London pub.

Meanwhile, back in Zimbabwe, several named senior ZANU PF officials are cited as sources by the Guardian who variously say that there is nothing wrong with Our Dear Leader, and he will be returning for his Easter Holiday/ Shopping Trip/ visit to supervise his daughter’s studies tomorrow. Minister of Information Webster Shamu is quoted as merely saying

“If anything like that had happened we would issue a statement.’

Our Dear Leader has died many times in online publications, especially those edited by Zimbabweans in the Diaspora. This speaks more to their own personal ambitions and failings as journalists than it does to Our Dear Leader’s health. No one is more aware of this that the subject of the rumours who earlier this year joked in an interview

“I have died many times. That’s where I have beaten Christ. Christ died once and resurrected once. I don’t know how many times I will die and resurrect.”

Until Minister Shamu’s statement is issued rumours of Our Dear Leader’s demise will always be greatly exaggerated.

The lift or elevator at the Fidelity Life Towers near the Central Police Station in Mutare has not been working for the past donkey years and there is need to fix it quickly. – Moses

Don’t know about you but in Greendale over Easter, there was just a trickle of municipal water. And now at our office block, which services over 30 offices (that’s a lot of poo to deal with on a daily basis), there’s no water. Give us some water please Mr President, I bet you’ve got some to spare.

From Trudy Stevenson, Zimbabwe’s Ambassador to Senegal:

I am so privileged to share with the Senegalese their joy in managing their transition to a new government led by new president Macky Sall.  Despite all the tension and the violent demonstrations and loss of life since 23 June 2011, in the end the transition has been achieved through the ballot box in complete peace, with the outgoing president Wade telephoning the winner Macky Sall to congratulate him on his victory even before the last results are out. This is indeed democracy, and African democracy – so we CAN do it!!  Well done Senegal!

My SMS to Paul – the Zimbabwe Electricity Supply Authority (ZESA) technician who is our contact for Monavale repairs and who was working yesterday on the smoking electricity poles with his team:
‘Hello Paul.  I am afraid the Elec. pole on Onslow Lane (path down to Monavale Vlei) was smoking again just now.  elec is still on. Thank you.’

His to me:
‘Relax madam, we knw why its still behaving that violently, we had no permanent spares ystrday so u’re on a temp supply back feed until we get thoz spares, u’re safe jst ignore it will clear.’

Me:
‘Thank you so much Paul. we are relaxed. Happy Easter.’

PS … For any of you who wonder what Monavale Vlei is about  – look at www.monavalevlei.com

An Easter Saturday 42k (marathon) walk around Harare. On Kent Road, approaching home with 2ks to go.