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Archive for June, 2007

Emergency sex and other desperate measures

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Tuesday, June 5th, 2007 by Bev Clark

I’ve been feeling rather ragged lately mostly on account of the power cuts. I’m enough of salad and instant soup. The upside is that I’m getting to bed much earlier than usual. I’m reading Emergency Sex (and other desperate measures) by candlelight and loving it. Give it a read.

Talking about reading, I find it hard not to read everything and anything . . . including the Customer Complaints Book that I saw hanging by a tatty string in the toiletries aisle in Bon Marche, Borrowdale. I didn’t expect to find that anyone had actually taken the trouble to list their complaints, but lo and behold there were several entries. Of course many of them revolved around the High Prices of commodities but someone else took the supermarket to task for keeping the fleshy parts of pig heads for the staff and leaving only the teeth and noses for customers.

Maybe I will stick to instant soup.

Yesterday an article on NewZimbabwe.com caught my eye about a Zimbabwean woman hotelier who allegedly forced a young woman to have sex with her. Here’s an excerpt:

On arrival at the house, the girl said she noticed there was no-one else in the house and asked Chirove where the guests were. She said Chirove told her she wanted her help in preparing for the party before the guests arrived. The state alleges Chirove then led the girl to her bedroom where she locked the door immediately after the girl had entered. She then dipped her hands into a traditional clay pot besides her bed and instructed the girl to do the same. Chirove then allegedly ordered the girl to open a calabash, where there was a strange creature, about 45cm tall, “hairy like a baboon, and looked like a human being”. Chirove is alleged to have then ordered the girl not to tell anyone about the incident, lest the creature followed her home. She then ordered the girl to undress and lie on the bed on her back.

Between short hairy baboonlike creatures, cold dark nights and pigs teeth, I’m feeling a need for Emergency Sex and several other desperate measures to get me through the winter.


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Tuesday, June 5th, 2007 by Natasha Msonza

Exhausted, freezing and hungry, yesterday evening I was in nothing but a mad rush to get myself home. That was around 5:30 but it was already getting dark since winter is really here.

I was on my way to my “combis” at Albion when I encountered a huge crowd on the corner of Jason Moyo and Cameron Street. This being a very busy place I thought there had been an accident. It did not take me long to realize I was wrong. This was an angry mob banging the glass walls of Iton Distributors, baying for someone’s blood. For the first time I wished I had a camera. Somehow I penetrated the crowd and found myself right in front of the locked entrance where all the action was. The glass exterior allowed me to see the shelves and all that was taking place inside. Now you know trying to get information from excited onlookers is usually a problem, so I had to contend with picking up bits and pieces of what had actually transpired.

Inside, an elderly woman maybe in her late 30s or early 40s lay unconscious on the floor a few meters from the locked entrance. Now and then, her hand or leg would twitch as uniformed bike police officers milled around her talking on their radio phones. The woman, identified as Mai Brenda by one of the vocal women, was drenched in water in an apparent effort to rouse her, and her legs and face were swollen.

Word had it she had stolen a plastic comb from the shop, got caught and received a thorough beating from the shop “manager” and two of his male subordinates. The hullabaloo was that the crowd wanted to mete out mob justice on the latter. I mean, even if she had stolen a television set, that was no excuse or right to beat her lifeless. As the swelling crowd got bigger and restive, the shrill alarm of a police vehicle suddenly pierced the air, and for a while, heads turned and voices quietened. Super cop “Silver” was cruising down Jason Moyo (which by the way is a one way street – indeed, I thought, some are more equal than others.) He was accompanied by a council ambulance.  I must admit, though I live in Zimbabwe, I had never before today, heard of this guy. I ventured to ask who he was and somebody whispered he was the super cop specially assigned to deal with carjackers. Supposedly a sharp shooter who is licensed to kill and drives an unmarked silver vehicle, hence the nickname. Never before had I witnessed the manifestation of power as the simple looking guy in his brown cap ordered everyone to vacate and for the ambulance people to get in and carry the woman to the ambulance. I’m sure he too, stern as he is said to be, felt the shop manager deserved to be disciplined. Although people backed off a bit, they were not willing to leave before the shop manager had been dealt with. Some shouted obscenities to the now frightened shop manager who was still domiciled in the building. Only the glass windows separated him from serious harm. I heard someone suggest they break down the glass exterior of the shop in order to beat up the occupants, if not to steal. Women chanted, “Murderer, murderer,” and some scolded the shop manager for “killing” a fellow black person over his Chinese boss’ comb. I doubt the shop workers made it home uninjured.