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Sometimes it pays not to shave

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Tuesday, November 20th, 2012 by Bev Clark

From the diary of Chris Magadza:

Chris Magadza, Zimbabwean poet and academic, shares his experiences during a research road trip with a group of students.

Saturday
Leaving for Hwange with my Master’s class of four; an eight-hundred-kilometre drive. As the vehicle is not an off-road 4×4, I have to take the Bulawayo route, otherwise we could cut the trip by going via Binga, reducing the journey by some 300 km. Arrived 4:30 p.m., averaging 110 km per hour, including fuelling and toilet stops. Caught doing 135 km per hour!  Traffic officer demurred to my age and advised safe driving. Sometimes it pays not to shave.

Sunday
Went on the Dopi Loop in the morning recording animals, temperature, humidity and coordinates; Nyamandhlovu viewing platform in the afternoon. First time students had seen any wild animals. A noticeable number of newly born and yearlings, elephant babies among the herds. Many pictures with my new GE camera; can take good pictures at more than 200m.

Monday
Student Z had generously urinated all over the toilet seat and on the floor. When I shouted at him, he just smiled. Went the Central road transect towards Robin Camp for 48km counting animals; more elephants seen than any other mammalian species; evidence of elephant damage on vegetation quite visible? One horned kudu at Guvalala Pumped Waterhole and magnificent sable bull. Visited Painted Dog Project Centre. Greg almost as short as me now after his air-crash operation! Had to wait an hour before evening shower since Student Z had emptied all the hot water to have a full bath.

Tuesday
The three male students slept until 11 a.m., in spite of an assignment given the evening before. So much for supposedly post-graduate ecology students; definitely the worst class I’ve had in my teaching career. No wonder everyone refers to University of Zimbabwe students now as ‘vana vechikoro’ . . .  schoolchildren.

Wednesday
Male students kicked out of bed by cleaning lady at 10:30 a.m. Left for Harare at 11:30 a.m. Home 8:30 p.m. Young police officer asks for my driving license at the Gwayi roadblock. ‘Do you think at my age (almost 73) I would be driving a university vehicle without a driver’s licence?’ He then demanded to see it. He walked round the vehicle and then ordered me to park off road and walked off with my licence. After a minute, I went to ask why he was detaining us. He signalled me to a young lady officer who was already writing something down.
“What are you writing?” I asked.
“A ticket” she said menacingly.
“What for?” I asked.
“Your left-side rear-view mirror is missing.”
“What does the law say about rear-view mirrors?”
“But you have a missing mirror.”
“How many mirrors must I have?”
“That is the law”
“The law says I must have a rear-view mirror. If you would like to check, there is a rear-view mirror mounted in the car.”
“But you must have all the mirrors the car was made with.”
“I drive a car Reg. AAM 9735 that was made with no left-hand side rear-view mirror. Is that an offence?”
“Just go, but someone will arrest you.”

Driving against opposing night traffic when most drivers don’t dim their headlights is quite nerve-wracking. It’s fine not being able to dim your headlights, or having no signals, or lights for that matter!

Thursday
Dorothy rang: Borrowdale vleis fight; the greed and corruption of Zimbabwean politicians makes one feel you are perpetually swimming in urine; all for double storey, multi-multi-bedroomed mansions, as well as the biggest Mercedes in the world – possessions that in no way contribute to the economy of the land. Have to give talk at Harare Rotary but can’t remember venue.

Friday
Eventful start; nearly run over by own car, knocked down by door trying to stop it rolling back; stopped by smashing Irene’s potted plant, fortunately large enough to stop the car. Have to write to Vice Chancellor explaining why the Red Bishop and Masked Weaver need reeds to breed; he has been ordering the them cut down as well as a host of trees, some planted more than 50 years ago by founding professor of Botany Arthur Boughey, according the Bentham-Hooker systematics scheme. Also, must prepare annual report for WEZ for Saturday AGM.

Source: Poetry International

Still hoping for a better Zimbabwe

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Tuesday, November 20th, 2012 by Marko Phiri

I have been bugging over the past few days, imagining and re-imagining the olive leaf Tsvangirai says he will extend to Zanu PF “moderates” when he assumes power. It appears to be a given that he will saunter into State House in the coming polls, never mind the doomsayers in the form of Freedom House.

But then Zanu PF does not think it is about to hand over the keys to anyone: Mugabe and his curious motley of Afro-optimists who nevertheless many say double as inveterate political misanthropes are firmly convinced Zanu PF will win.

It strikes me as kowtowing to the politics of meaningless appeasement when Tsvangirai says he will not hesitate to co-opt favoured Zanu PF officials into his perceived government. What is he saying about the men and women within the MDC-T who have dedicated their lives to unseating Zanu PF?  Are they less skilled in “statecraft,” to borrow from his own secretary general? And he would still have to be answerable to Zimbabweans who sprung him to power having these Zanuoids in his cabinet, that is if his own lieutenants allow it to happen.

If MT is surely sincere about this thing, I call it a thing because that’s what it is, he only pays into the hands of critics who say, he along with his top officials, remain Zanu PF at heart despite all pretence to the contrary, and we know such critics only have to point to what they see as his fabulous spending habits that only seeks to keep up with Zanu PF profligacy.

There is no one to appease in Zanu PF period. The only appeasing is the one he mentioned about appeasing the gods over the blood of pro-democracy activists!

The masses trust the MDC-T with their vote because of the promise of re-birth, of restoring Zimbabwe’s UDI economic juggernaut the same MDC-T policy czars love referring to but was decimated by Zanu PF.

Come on, this is politics, appointing Zanu PF officials into an MDC government is not only political folly of the highest order considering the fact that we know how the same people have plundered state resources to finance their political party activities, but we already know Zanu PF will never respond in like magnanimity in the event Mugabe beats Tsvangirai!

This is African politics for fuck’s sake where there has been cyclical abysmal failure to transplant “the US model of democracy” on the continent despite all evidence of parallel governments being run by the frivolous coalitions that defeat the whole concept of a truly bipartisan regime.

Perhaps MT has been misquoted, perhaps like Gabriel Shumba on the formation of his political party a few years ago, he was only joking, but this ain’t no laughing matter as he seems too eager to win over some Zanu PF folks, perhaps as his own political strategy that if he has them on their side, the military and other Zanu PF spoilers are kept in check?

Perhaps he needs to re-read the history of African politics and he will find that this fantasy will turn out to be a petard that will blow up on his already perforated face.

Let’s hear it for the youth

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Tuesday, November 20th, 2012 by Bev Clark

Conclusions from the Youth Agenda’s First Time Voters Training Camp.

1. The young people of Zimbabwe will tirelessly work towards resisting any machinations by the state machinery to subvert the will of the youths and the broader Zimbabwean society through the state sponsored technical and political frustration of young people to register as eligible voters. A declaration was made that with immediate effect youths will go back to their provinces and forthwith engage in a mass identification, recruitment and mobilisation of young voters in endeavors to chat a democratic dispensation for the country

2. Youths are fully aware of the political risks they will be exposed to as they execute their constitutional mandate of encouraging the broader societies to proclaim their right to vote and choose political leaders through popular participation and a democratic process. Youth Agenda Trust was mandated to set up networks with relevant institutions that offer social solidarity, legal aid, medical aid and psychosocial counseling to affected young people.

3. The state media remains partisan, unprofessional and irrelevant in disseminating crucial information to young people on the voting process. It was noted that the state media continues to be the epicentre of hate speech, indoctrination, intolerance and the instigation of political violence amongst young Zimbabweans. The youths resolved to set up a parallel political information programme that will flood the social media, mobile networks, print media, electronic media and community information centres that will act as the hub of informing and educating Zimbabweans on the electoral process and peaceful conduct during and after elections.

4. The camp resolved that young people will participate in the forthcoming elections  as candidates, election observers, to monitor the tabulation and transmission of election results and to mobilize Zimbabweans to a  peaceful action program that rejects any 2013 electoral outcome that is against the democratic will of Zimbabweans as expressed through the electoral process.

Shocking Zimbabwe traffic accident statistics

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Tuesday, November 20th, 2012 by Amanda Atwood

I’ve just come across some shocking statistics on Zimbabwe’s road traffic safety – or lack thereof. According to Transport, Communications and Infrastructure Development Minister Nicholas Goche:

In Zimbabwe there are 28 deaths per every 10 000 registered vehicles and there is a traffic collision every 15 minutes with an average of 45 people getting injured per day while on average five people are killed per day.

That’s right. An average of five people are killed per day on Zimbabwe’s roads. If 5 people per day were dying in political violence, there would be an outcry. SADC would be sending negotiators, the media would be covering events, and the responsible parties would be facing international censure.

But when it’s all of us, on our own roads, driving badly, it’s acceptable?

Zimbabwe High Court sets aside fire extinguisher rule

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Friday, November 16th, 2012 by Amanda Atwood

According to NewsDay, the High Court in Zimbabwe on Wednesday set aside Statutory Instrument 154/2010. This was the regulation that banned left-hand drive vehicles, required motorists to carry red reflective triangles and fire extinguishers, and prohibited driving of a car with a malfunctioning window winding mechanism (amongst other things).

So. How long until the Zimbabwe Republic Police stop asking motorists at their ATMS – oh, sorry, I mean road blocks – to show them a (serviced, certified, Zimbabwean, functioning) fire extinguisher or pay a bribe?

Zimbabweans doing Some Stuff …

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Thursday, November 15th, 2012 by Bev Clark

Marko Phiri has just had his short story Change published by The Kalahari Review

Alex Chimange has published a book on civil society collaboration challenges in Zimbabwe