Um, excuse me … so, like, what’s a constitution good for?

Our Constitution as well provides for a minimum 30-day period of campaigning to a maximum of 42 days before the election date. This means that after the nomination court sitting of the 24th July 2013, the earliest that the election could be held is the 25th August 2013. The point being made is that President Mugabe has acted unlawfully and unconstitutionally and is deliberately creating and precipitating an unnecessary Constitutional crisis. The Constitution makes the President the chief upholder and defender of the Constitution. It is therefore regrettable that the chief defender and upholder has become the chief attacker and abuser of the Constitution. - Morgan Tsvangirai, Press Statement 13 June 2013

“Unilateral” is a word that must be trending in Zimbabwe’s Twittersphere today after President Robert Mugabe took the country back to 1965.

Despite all the “magnanimity” he seemingly had extended to Morgan Tsvangirai in the past weeks, he brews this shocker.

There’s been near-punch ups in the virtual world of the World Wide Web as peeved Zimbos trade barbs, stuff that a revolution would be made of were such energy channeled towards the source of that anger.

In today’s Herald the presidential spokesman is quoted as saying “the Head of State and Government and Commander-in-Chief of the Zimbabwe Defence Forces would not be persuaded to violate the laws of the country” by defying the ConCourt’s ruling compelling to hold elections by 31 July.

Of course this was after reports emerged that some political parties were petitioning the President of the Republic to oppose the declaration.

I am always surprised when Zimbabweans are surprised by such developments!

Perhaps people have very short memories, but this is the Zanu PF modus operandi, and for anyone to expect anything else from this party would be a case of inveterate naivety. The thing is, where do we go from here, what with SADC also expected to be the ultimate arbiter of this political circus?

One certain thing about this latest declaration is that it entrenches apathetic attitudes to electoral processes as some say if Mugabe can unilaterally call for polls despite Tsvangirai’s own earlier declaration that he holds the keys to elections, what is to stop him (Mugabe) from declaring himself a winner in the elections, or as he did in 2008 refuse to accept defeat.

Yet that should be motivation enough for Zimbabweans who have heeded the call to register and also check the voters roll to exercise their franchise to the fullest and show the power mongers who is in charge, or else attempting to kick Zanu PF in the butt will equate to just another fool’s errand.

Look who’s laughing now. Democracy, what democracy?

Julius Malema, an expelled former leader of the ANC Youth League in South Africa has launched a political party platform, Economic Freedom Fighters. Malema says it’s a platform for garnering support from the masses to demand economic freedom from the ANC. Analysts however say Malema is preparing to launch a party and is testing the waters with such moves. Some have likened his move to that done earlier this year by Agang leader, Ramphele, who set up a platform prior to applying to register the political party.

Malema in his launch speech outlines principles that will govern the consultations they will carry out around South Africa. The first two being expropriation of South Africa’s land without compensation for equal redistribution and nationalisation of mines, banks, and other strategic sectors of the economy. This has seen some readers likening Malema’s Economic Freedom Fighters to a mini Mugabe state.

I find it disturbingly tasteless that even before we hit the half year mark, there are already complaints about the President’s traveling habits.

To make it clear, what I find tasteless isn’t the news people reporting about the First Citizen’s globetrotting, but the First Citizen’s unbridled penchant for travel despite all the criticism over the years.

And because this is the first half the year, imagine then the other half of it. Imagine the First Citizen’s carbon footprint! Talk about money to burn!

An entourage of more than 50 officials to Japan next month, we were informed today and last time in another such jaunt, we are informed the number was somewhere near 100! And the numbers that joined the First citizen to Ethiopia for the African Union commemorations?

We recall that the same President Joyce Banda who has taken our President as her mentor, has previously vowed to cut back on international travel to cushion Treasury from what she saw at the time of her swearing-in as unmitigated profligacy by her predecessor. Interesting ain’t it?

You have to feel pity for the guy holding the nation’s purse whose favourite epigram has become “we eat what we kill.” Really?

I find it strange that the two MDCs actually invest time in trashing each other when the matter at hand is obvious.

The spat has inevitably sucked in ordinary Zimbabweans who have taken to social media platforms with angry reactions on whether or not the two must play Voltron and combine their forces against Robert Mugabe’s Zanu PF.

But you wonder where that anger will get us, and already, some cynics say most of the most vocal people are the same folks who have never bothered to vote! And they have unwittingly voted for Zanu PF, isn’t it said that bad governments are chosen by people who don’t vote!

In the spirit of multi-partyism, it could well be “may the best man win” as it is obvious that these political gladiators are not about to kiss and make up, and if Zanu PF triumphs, then they should start asking themselves serious questions about their relevance to the people’s long yearning for a “transition to democracy.”

But then you can’t talk sense with any politician.

“He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.” George Bernard Shaw

The Herald today reported that 29 political parties, the latest being formed on Monday 13 this week, are asking to be bankrolled by government for their political activities ahead of elections.

Interesting.

29 political parties asking for funding from the fiscus?

And we are only hearing about some of these obscure outfits now, talk about trying to cash in on politics, as if we are not seeing it already from individuals sitting in the Inclusive Government who are resisting primaries!

Ok then let’s take a look at the numbers.

It’s been reported that under the Political Parties Finance Act, the country’s three main political parties, were expected to share USD5 million according to their parliamentary representation.

But according to a ZBC report last month, the parties had received only USD500,000 with Patrick Chinamasa saying they (Zanu PF?) are “putting pressure on Finance Minister Tendai Biti to release the outstanding US$4,5 million.”

Now, seeing that Biti is already failing (or reluctant, depending on your political leanings) to “give” Zanu PF and the two MDCs the remaining USD4,5 million, where the hell is the money for the 29 political parties expected to come from, considering that 29 more can easily emerge from the woodwork in the weeks ahead of these elections?

Perhaps like every vulture that has emerged in our very amoral political landscape, these folks are expecting the largess to come from the diamond manna … why, more diamonds have been discovered in Bikita!

The Herald reported last December that Zanu PF had budgeted USD600,000 for the referendum for its awareness campaigns, lord knows where they got the money from, but the point is, funding any political activity is not for the faint hearted, that is why Zanu PF gets hot under the collar when the MDCs run around across the country using resources whose source Zanu PF desperately wants revealed.

You then have to ask exactly how much are these 29 political parties asking for?

Perhaps they should quietly return to the dustbins from where they crawled, but then it has been whispered that some political parties that always emerge in the run-up to elections are spoilers created by the spooks to muddy the waters for Tsvangirai not to see victory!

So then, it could be these are the same people pushing for the funding of their political outfits, after all, they always know something that we don’t about the nation’s wealth, which apparently is also being kept away from the finance minister.

“The money is there, let’s form a political party,” they whisper.