So, the Libyan ambassador Taher Elmagrahi got himself into trouble for hoisting the “rebel flag” in Harare.

You just have to ask yourself when he actually had the flag in his possession for him to raise it as soon as word got out Gaddafi literally had one foot in the grave. Could be Libya’s point man in Harare always was a sympathiser and was waiting for that aha! moment. And of course all that claim about “following the people’s will” is just but a ruse veiled as diplomatic-speak, meaning he could have defected long ago had he the gall to dare Mugabe, a known long-time ally of the Libyan strongman! After all, we have just been told our own Sylvester Nguni made generous donations to his employer’s political opponents, meaning he could well just be waiting for his own aha moment and then he like Pilate will wash his hands of his allegiance to the regime and claim he is “following the will of the people of Zimbabwe” when the moment arrives. But then why not?

Who then can you trust in this wily game of politics? It’s great though when folks show their true colours, or in the case of Nguni, when their true colours are exposed in a court of law of all places! From the terraces, we damn sure are loving it.

The concept is, ZANU PF are now the new Rhodesians.

Why do I say this? Let us look at parallels.

In the end (and also not far from the beginning), Rhodesia stood for nothing. They were simply against.

Rhodesia – “Keep out the godless communists!”
Zanu PF (listening to the ZPFer at the MPOI security sector debate) – “Keep out the whites!”

But what exactly they both wanted to implement was a mystery.
And never mind the fact that Rhodesia was one of the most socialist countries the world has ever known (aside from the apartheid regime).
And never mind the fact that Zanu PF just asked me (a white) to be the local area treasurer!

Really, they are/were both against democracy.
They are/were for entrenched power (and privileges).

For Rhodesia, it was race. It was a strongly classed, and stratified, society.
The upper class – paid, moneyed, educated, healthy, infrastructure there for (pools, cars, roads). Socially distinct, by race.
The lower class – there for labour. Some education, some health (had food!), some infrastructure (bicycle tracks).

There was no middle class. Thanks to PK vd Byl, for the most part. While Rhodesia was not racist, but had a qualified voting system (A and B voters rolls, based on property, income or wealth), in the early 70′s the voters rolls were ‘upgraded’. It was made more difficult to get on the voters roll. You had to own more property, make more money, or have a bigger bank balance. And people were taken off the voters roll. Why? Read Hansard. “Too many blacks were getting the right to vote.” said one MP.

So, instead of building a black middle class who might have voted for the RF, and stood with them for property rights, law and order, decency, etc. the Rhodesians decided to make enemies of everyone!

For Zimbabwe. How do they know who is kissing who’s ass? How do they know who is ‘onsides’ and who is a ‘national security threat’?
Upper class – paid, moneyed, educated, healthy, infrastructure falling apart for. They live in the same suburbs. They go to the best schools (not the government ones). They have offshore medical aid schemes, and go ‘away’ (Singapore) for hospitals. They drive nice, fancy cars. (and fast too!)
Lower class – there for labour. Education – there are the government schools to go to, but no one can afford. Health – go to Pariyanetwa, there might be a doctor on duty. Infrastructure – a pothole on every corner. Power lines hanging on from every pole (but only generators provide power). A tap in every garden, but the water is a bit brown, better get a borehole.

There is no middle class. They are in London (Harare North) or South Africa, where people can get jobs. Called the brain drain.

And what are the middle class? They are biggest threat to a radical, extremist regime. They are the ones who want to develop themselves and their community through standard hard work. Simple solid day’s pay for day’s work. Not the briefcase businessman. Not a fast buck specialist. Not the fly by night company. The builders, with companies with reputations, and personal reputations. Children, modest cars, plain holidays. Eyes on the future. They want good schools, good hospitals, roads with no holes in them, street lighting, clean water it the taps, electricity with a switch. They pay their bills, and expect others to do the same.

Similar? Rhodesia and Zanu PF land look the same to me.

Rhodesians never actually did anything. Unable to do labour. Good at getting others to do things, but not themselves. Their hands were not dirty.

For example, I knew an Afrikaner (ex Rhodie) in Pretoria, who never let it be known he was a Rhodesian. He got dumped on for all the Rhodies who came down, got jobs (based on their white skin), but could not put out the work. Another white came back from Australia, where he did not make it in farming. He was so glad to be back. He could come from a day ‘working’ in the fields here, and just throw his boots at the maid, “Clean them”, and they would be cleaned. He could not clean them himself. Zimbabwe was a wonderful place. Numerous stories like that. And of course, many did make it good overseas too! Listening to the Rhodesian farmers now in Nigeria on the BBC. Stunning stuff!

And here in Zimbabwe, why is the infrastructure falling apart? Because no one here can work. The civil service was stacked with Zanu PF loyalists, because they were Zanu PF loyalists and patronage needed to be handed out. Based on Zanu PF loyalty, and not technical merit, or ability. When I was a councilor, the City or Harare was the third biggest employer of people in Zimbabwe. Now, we are trying to paint the MacDonald Park Pool (owned by the City of Harare). And there are 6 painters in the employ of the CoH! Anyone with any skills or ability have moved to London or South Africa for a job. What do the others on the payroll do? The ghost workers (650) have been found and sacked. An independent body says CoH could be/should be run by a staff of 6000. But the patronage has been handed out, (not that it is worth much anymore). And no one wanted a job anyways, they just wanted the pay cheque. (The farms and factories syndrome.)

Similar?

I also noticed that the Rhodesians were HUGELY anti homosexual. Homophobic in fact. Yet, having done a lot of lights at a lot of Reps shows, I KNOW that the acts in any variety shows, that always got the hugest ovations – audience standing in their seats, hollering and clapping in adoration – that act was the cross dress, most faggoty, camp, blatant, men dressed up as women and singing women’s songs in high voices act.

And Zimbabwe? The main man states they are ‘lower than pigs and dogs’, and there are gangs of professionals beating them up and tearing down their stands, etc. However, I KNOW they exist. I have met them. And they did not pick it up overseas, as some have never left this country!

(And for the record, while I know I should not condemn something I have never tried and have no experience of, I am quite sure I am not gay. Don’t hit on me, as I am quite sure I will hit back. I suspect I am homophobic, and a product of my society. So we can keep sexual preference in some back closet.)

Similar? Again, it is to me.

So, the big question then is, if the ZPFers are the new Rhodesians, who are the new kaffirs?

Zimbabwe Government rethinks South African GMO chicken imports ban. Government rethinks left-hand vehicle ban. Government rethinks second-hand car import. Government rethinks beer ban. Government rethinks plastic bags ban. Government rethinks mining law. Government rethinks indigenisation Bill. Government bans trousers in parliament. Government rethinks trouser ban after female MPs threaten to bare all. Zimbabwe joins Malawi, bans farting. Government rethinks stinking law. Government bans laughing at presidential portrait. Government rethinks funny bone ban. Government bans sex in dark places. Government sees the light, rethinks sex ban. Government bans sex work. Government rethinks sex ban, minister says okay to have sex while working. Agriculture production slumps. Government rethinks violent land-grab. [Well, that’s pushing it.] Mugabe rethinks GNU, so does everybody! Government rethinks condom ban in schools. Minister says sex is basic human right, even for students. Government outdoes itself, rethinks thinking.

Plato wrote that a better world can become a reality only if it is ruled by philosopher kings, in other words people who think. Thinkers as it were. Curiously, in Zimbabwe rethinkers come aplenty, and we all know where that has got us!

Had a few good laughs watching ZBC news last night when a senior education official in one of the Mashonaland provinces said President Mugabe had donated computers in schools where there is no electricity. Nothing new really. Sydney Sekeramayi was officially opening a computer lab at some rural school, and the education official’s comments were indeed telling and I wondered why the reporter had allowed that comment to make it to the bulletin considering it was not very flattering if you think of it. The other week Sunday Mail [July 24-30] ran a story with the headline “REA please give us electricity.” REA of course being the Rural Electrification Agency, and it will be recalled that this was one of the vehicles used by the then ruling party to galvanise support in the rural areas, and in the Sunday Mail story it was the rural folks themselves who were making the appeal for magetsi kuvanhu. The Sunday Mail reported: “Many rural areas are still  “in the dark,” more than a decade after the launch of the programme.” You then have to wonder who advises the President when he makes these computer donations to schools in areas where that education official says there is no electricity. But then as we have seen it with local politicians for a long time: what they do or say does not have to make sense, just as long as they are seen to be doing something. So much for an informed electorate in an alleged democracy!

I recently attended Joburg Radio Days, a conference which brings together radio practitioners from across the continent to share ideas and their work with each other. One of the issues under discussion was the prospect of broadcasting reform in Zimbabwe, while another session was devoted to community radio.

The Zimbabwean speakers described the legislative framework, which based on the guarantee to freedom of expression as enunciated in clause 20 and amendment 19 of the current constitution should allow for a multiplicity of voices on the airwaves. Zenzele Ndebele from Radio Dialogue was passionate in making his case for the need for community radio. State media, he said, did not allow space for Zimbabwe’s cultural diversity; neither did it represent the interests of small communities. Rather ZBC gave a platform to political interests and because of its limited capacity to broadcast to all Zimbabweans left much of the population without any access to information.

Having attended several conferences and workshops with this theme, I am a little weary of talking about it. The inclusive government of which ZANU PF has the lion’s share of power has reneged on amendment 19 of the constitution and has failed to implement broadcasting reform. This is undeniable.  There is still much work to be done in creating an environment that is conducive to the creation of a free and independent media. I feel that we should spend more time figuring out either alternative ways to get information to those without access, or finding middle ground with ZANU PF policy makers in order to make media freedom a reality.

Not that the policymakers themselves are much help. Confronted with questions about why media freedom was so slow in coming to Zimbabwe, the Zimbabwe Media Commissions representative to the Forum, Ambassador Chris Mutsvangwa could not give a definitive answer. Instead he gave us his war credentials and insisted he was a highly educated Constitutional lawyer.

His response is typical of the party line; where supposedly educated policy makers sidestep the issue at hand and foaming at the mouth reiterate that they freed us from colonialism and we are an ungrateful lot for daring to question our elders. We as a nation are unable to move forward because they as leaders are caught in a time trap of justifying an untenable grip on power. It’s all very well to have liberated the country from Western imperialists, but that revolution, the creation of a successful and proud Zimbabwean nation, is not over yet.

Here’s a radical idea: what if Mugabe stays home for a few months and his travel allowance, generous as it is, goes towards helping ZESA, our national power company, get back on its feet? Apparently ZESA has been running adverts on state controlled TV asking people to switch off their switches and geysers. Hmmm. The average citizen is yet again asked to moderate their behaviour but all the while the chefs in suits Just Don’t Give a Damn.