I enjoyed reading the latest Body Language column in the Mail and Guardian. The photo that accompanies it is the cover of the current issue of Vanity Fair. It shows a milky skinned Nicole Kidman opening her blouse and baring her bra clad breasts. I agree with Kira Cochrane, the author of the column when she suggests

There is something strangely passionless and perfunctory about the pose – as though, off camera, a doctor has just shown up and told her its time for an impromptu mammary examination. Or, indeed, the magazine editor has just told her she is off the cover unless she gets on with it and gets ‘em out.

The nub of this week’s Body Language is that no matter how successful or intelligent or talented a woman is the media will insist on reducing her to tits and arse.

This got me thinking about how women are portrayed and featured in the Mail and Guardian as a case in point. On closer inspection I found that the writing of male journalists, reporters and commentators is overwhelmingly featured. Even in the Verbatim column, there is just one quote from a woman.

When it comes to the pictorial representation of women the Mail and Guardian is especially poor – at least in this issue. I had to go through 18 pages before I found a photograph of a woman either related to an article or in advertising.

I guess we should be grateful for small mercies though. Featured on page 56 is that very rare bird seldom seen in most mainstream newspapers; the sportswoman. The Mail and Guardian carries an article, and a photograph of Kelly Smith celebrating scoring a goal for England in the Women’s World Cup.

Unfortunately my pleasure was short lived because the article by (you guessed it) David James, caved in on itself with this final paragraph

Kelly Smith is a phenomenal player; with her positioning on the ball she wouldn’t look out of place in a men’s side. One of the lads put it deftly when he said: ‘She’s a manly player – without looking at all manly.’

If you ask me the lad needs a deft kick up his arse.

Late the other night I encountered Mugabe and his rather large cavalcade on the Airport Road. I had just arrived, and he was leaving for that UN thing. The friend who had picked me up immediately pulled over because if you don’t you’re likely to get a pummeling. One of Mugabe’s outriders used his loudspeaker to tell us to switch our lights off, which we did and the dark night got even darker. My friend’s car is really, really tiny so we rocked from side to side a bit as the cavalcade sped by. Imagine some Avis car hire tourists coming across that lot as soon as they arrived in Harare.

Anyway, cavalcades got me thinking about something I read recently in The Spectator magazine. In a column entitled I always cheer up Down Under by Stanley Johnson he discusses the recent Apec (Asia-Pacific Economic Co-operation) meeting. Apparently there’s a TV show in Australia called The Chaser’s War on Everything and they played a huge prank during the Apec talks. Here’s a small excerpt

They organised a fake cavalcade of limousines, complete with outriders and Canadian maple-leaf flags fluttering from the bonnets of the vehicles, the show’s mischievous presenters managed to breach successive levels of security to deposit an Osama bin Laden lookalike within yards of President Bush’s hotel.

Mugabe will be quite pleased I think to hear of the potential demise of John Howard who seems to be losing popularity both within his own party as well as with the majority of Australians. Apparently Howard’s main political opponent, the younger and more modern Kevin Rudd, wowed China’s President Hu by welcoming him with a long speech in Mandarin. Although, according to The Spectator

Some linguistic experts pointed out that when Rudd proclaimed he wanted to ‘develop the closest possible links’, he actually used the Mandarin to ‘achieve simultaneous orgasms’, but, if that was so, President Hu seemed totally unfazed.

As I was passing through security at Harare International Airport (if you can still call it that) the young woman ahead of me was asked to open her bag for inspection. She replied that she’d like a female customs officer to attend to her because her bag contained “women’s things”. Which got me thinking about what she could possibly be embarrassed about. Surely we’ve moved on from being squeamish about tampons and bras? But perhaps she had something more exciting, like a sex toy.

Truth is I hate flying on my own. I need a hand to hold; going up, coming down and during turbulence. Otherwise I’m fine. There was a medical emergency on the plane I was on recently when I traveled between Johannesburg and Port Elizabeth. The guy in the seat across the aisle from me had a bad turn and had to be given some oxygen. I felt a bit bad because I’d just given him a dirty look because of the gusto with which he was eating his cheddar cheese roll. I can’t bear noisy eaters especially in confined spaces.

I finally ended up in a place called Kenton and spent some time by the sea which was all round fabulous. On one occasion I popped into the local bar and met Trevor a retired South African who gives tourists boat rides. I thought a safe subject for a bit of bar room small talk would be rugby but he got so enthusiastic and detailed in his descriptions of the world cup that my eyes started to glaze over. I moved swiftly on to something I could tolerate – the Twenty20 cricket. Zimbabwe had just won their game against Australia which everyone was celebrating. Like Catherine Makoni blogged, there were quite a few provocative placards scattered about Newlands Cricket Ground during the Zimbabwe/Australia game. What a pity the people filming the event were so skittish about giving us a good read of them. As soon as a placard commenting on the “Zimbabwe situation” appeared on screen the cameraman moved swiftly on to the safe subject of a group of children screaming into the camera.

I have to say that whilst Brendan Taylor was terrific, he needs a bit of a makeover. I wonder whether there’s a Queer Eye for the Wicketkeeper? Another player that I’m itching to get some scissors to is Dhoni who’s hair looks like it hasn’t been conditioned in 14 years.

But back to Trevor. When he asked where I was from, and I said Zimbabwe, he held his head in his hands with a pained expression on his face. And then he said, “You lot are in the dwang (shit)”. Whilst this is true, how I wish Zimbabwe isn’t seen as such a sad case. Or as Brenda said, the butt of jokes.

So I’m just back in Harare. Our plane got in quite late on Friday night. It was wonderful to come back home even with all the challenges we have to deal with. It was great to get a warm welcome from a comrade in arms and have her say, “hey, guess what’s in your deep freeze?” And when I said, a chicken? She said, well don’t get ahead of yourself, I got you a few wings.

A tour past Harare’s main commuter transport ranks, the city centre, suburban shopping centres and residential areas yesterday made things look very much like business as usual on the first day of a two-day stay away called by the Zimbabwe Congress of Trade Unions (ZCTU).

A statement from the ZCTU reported that “most ZCTU members heeded the call to stayaway from work. However most companies remained open but with only skeleton staff operating. We predict that so far this stayaway has been about 55 percent successful.” Some reports suggested that staff were going to work, but were not working once they arrived there.

As one Kubatana subscriber put it, with 80% unemployment, that means only 20% of the population even has work from which they could stay away. So a 55% successful stay away looks like only 10% of the population going to work? Plus of course the informal sector which just carried on as always.

A friend of mine in the repair business offered his workers a choice – they were welcome to stay away and they would not be peanalised or docked anything from their monthly wage, or they could come to work. When he got to work on Wednesday morning he found all his staff waiting outside for him to open up as they normally do. They would not have lost their pay if they’d stayed home. But they also wouldn’t have been served lunch.

Of course, the fact that most businesses remained open didn’t stop the police from harassing the ZCTU staff and leadership. On Monday, three ZCTU officials were beaten and arrested while distributing fliers for the stay away in Harare’s Workington industrial area. Police raided the home of ZCTU President Lovemore Matombo, and arrested his brother Kenneth when they did not find Lovemore at home. The ZCTU’s Bulawayo regional chairperson was arrested on Tuesday, released late that night and then instructed to report to the police again for further interrogation. Something about the level of action and the extent of reprisal isn’t quite adding up.

Kubatana subscribers continue to share their thoughts about the job action. Here are a few of their comments:

I personally think the reason these stay aways are not working is because we are never fully informed why we are staying away, I mean like what are hoping to achieve after the so called stay away who are we staying away from because frankly if it’s a way of bringing the country’s economy to its knees to get the govt’s attention they have already beaten us to that whether we stay away for the next 3 months the economy is already in ruins and the govt wouldn’t care less. I therefore strongly think and believe that what ZCTU needs to be doing now is massive voter education I think the ballot is the only way to beat the mugabe regime to cut the story short stay aways will not work end whether we all stay away end of story.
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My personal conviction is that stay aways are an obsolete means to for expression in Zimbabwe. This method has been utilized countless times in Zimbabwe in the recent years with limited success. We need much more peaceful and proactive methods to express whatever sentiments are festering within us. Besides, we do not have to provide the excuse to trigger happy butter stick brandishing law enforcers, to get mercilessly on our people and provoke disorder. Even though the socio-economic situation continues to deteriorate, but let us save life and limb.

Meanwhile, the MDC looks set to allow constitutional amendments to sail through Parliament without any discussion or debate. Agreeing to these amendments will effectively see the MDC conceding that the upcoming elections will be free and fair. But with just six months between now and the likely election date, all the good will in the world could not miraculously transform Zimbabwe’s political environment into a level playing field with open, equal access and confident voters free of intimidation – and I sincerely doubt the ruling party has that much good will towards the process anyway.

I know my colleagues and I all see it. So what is the opposition thinking? What is in it for them? Like this Telegraph article puts it, the MDC is “contributing to its own demise.” The opposition might not mind forming some elite deal and getting swallowed by the ruling party. But what’s in it for the rest of us?

Now I will be the first to admit that I am not a huge fan of cricket. I usually find it long and tedious, and therefore boring. Yes boring. I mean it literary takes days on end for the teams to get through a single match. I have a theory about why it was invented but that’s for another conversation. Watching the match between Australia and Zimbabwe was therefore something of an aberration for me, but what an aberration. I will admit l quite enjoyed the Twenty20 format. It’s fast paced adrenaline-filled stuff. None of the sluggish slog of Test cricket. More than the fast paced action, I enjoyed the placards and signs that some of the spectators were holding. One particular one stood out for me. It read, “Masvosve akabatana anovaka churu,” loosely translated “when ants unite, they can build anthills.” We then went on to witness a truly inspired performance by the Zimbabwe team. They played their hearts out against the mighty Australia. They had nothing to lose and they threw everything they had into the game. At the end of it Australia was left reeling from the shock of the defeat against “minnows” Zimbabwe.

The funny thing about unexpected victories is that they get you thinking about new mountains to conquer. Now, we have a lot of giants in Zimbabwe and buoyed by our recent victory, I’m thinking what have we got to lose? Let’s throw ourselves at it and see where we get to. From South America to East Europe and Africa, history is littered with the bones of defeated giants. Think of Augusto Pinochet and Nicholae Ceausescu. It is entirely probable that some of the soldiers in the firing squad that shot him had been trained by him to kill his opponents. Talk about the chickens coming home to roost!

Closer to home think of the oft affable (from our then rose-tinted view) “one Zambia, one Nation, one Nation, one Leader and that leader- Kenneth Kaunda.” Consider if you will Kamuzu Banda. His ruthless exploits were a tragically comic combination of fact and folkloric fiction. Remember how he was rumoured to have fed his opponents alive and kicking to crocodiles? There was nothing mythical about PW Botha and his regime. What about bungling idiot Idi Amin? Or the infamous Emperor Jean Bedel Bokassa the cannibal with the 17 wives and over 50 children! Even our very own “Never in a thousand years” Ian Douglas Smith.

But it is not just the dictators who have been felled by Ants United. It is whole institutions and repression machineries. The Berlin Wall, the Apartheid machinery and the Iron Curtain. Ants of the world unite! You have nothing to lose except your chains (apologies Marx and Engels), but my God, just think!

In advance of the Stay Away called by the Zimbabwe Congress of Trade Unions (ZCTU) for Wednesday and Thursday, 19 and 20 September, we at Kubatana sent out a text message and email asking our subscribers what they thought of the stay away, whether their workplace would be participating, and what their friends and neighbours were saying about it.

We were flooded with emails and text messages expressing a range of opinions, from eager support for the stay away and a commitment to stay home even if their work place was open, to others who questioned the usefulness of the tactic or whether it would make any difference on the ground.

Here is just a small sampling of people’s responses:

Don’t think it will be a success. People are tired of stay aways.

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Supporting it, not coming to work, enough is enough.

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Yes and all my friends want to stay away in order to make a statement.

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I don’t support the stay away because it has never worked before. It is said it is foolish to try the same thing and expect different results. Can ZCTU think strategies that are constructive. Zimbabweans want solutions not “scapegoat” ideas. ZCTU/NCA are always pointing fingers and have paperwork solutions. What positive things have they done to bring reformation and transformation in this country. When they was Murambatsvina, can I ask how many of these NCA/ZCTU leaders even housed one family or looked for decent shelter for them. If they did so, I certainly did not hear about it. I know ZCTU/NCA travel a lot out of the country, can’t they forge relations outside so that we have raw materials coming in. Bring in influential/expert people (non-political) come in to help solve our economic crisis. E.g. bring in a banker who has a CV of what we are currently going through and has managed to make a turnaround in his country. I know of a few individuals (who are Zimbabweans) who have come together to help the health ministry. They have just brought in a container of medical equipment and drugs to distribute for free. This is going to make a difference and go a long way. Selfish gains is not what we want. We want reformation and transformation in this nation. Just because our president is unpopular is no excuse for better things not to happen. May God help us.

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My workplace will be open as we are 50% gov’t but I’ll be staying away together with my friends. Teachers must never attempt to go to work!

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Lets stay away and show that we are not happy with what’s going on!

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Need to be clear on the objective of the stay away.

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We, with all my friends are supporting it, i urge all people from every sector to support it, so that it will send a clear message. Lets go for it!!!!!

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I have to work, should a doctor strike? Other people are afraid of repercussions, they may have no job to come back to. A Catch-22.

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I suggest that we all wear white, black and red regalia one chosen day of the week till the next elections. It was easier and noble to wear one colour but the last time we wore red T-shirts before the elections we attracted the wrath of the green militia. So this time around it will be difficult for them to single out all people wearing three different colours say every Friday.

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The strikes never seem to take off. Some do some don’t. Some know some don’t. Each union must work in concert.

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A new form of resistance can be by people hee-hawing (like donkeys) very loudly in the street to show their utter contempt for the regime.

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There is no need for people to come into town for any kind of demonstration. People should stay in their respective residential places and demonstrate peacefully there.

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It seems this strategy of stay away has already shown its failure – I don’t know what the objective is or what its likely to achieve. Rather use the ubiquitous workers for anonymous tip offs (whistle blowing) for both violation and complicity – name and shame.

The first step would be to inform the workers of their rights in terms of international law as enshrined in the International Convention on Human Rights and its covenants -emphasizing the liability for beneficial or silent complicity. This can be equally applied to direct human rights violations like buying luxury cars instead of buying food (the car manufacturer is liable) or the local media failing to report – Mr editor, you do realise, of course, that you are complicit, you step out of Zimbabwe, you may be held liable under international law! the same applies to the Chief of Police.

They are rationing bread and the general public waits patiently whilst police and army personnel push in to the front willingly served by the staff. This is in flagrant violation of:-The Universal Declaration on Human Rights breaches of these rights entail liability under international law . Attention should be paid to how the staff and the boss might be implicated (legally or morally) in the action or inaction of others, directly or indirectly and through beneficial or silent complicity. Chapter and verse:- “Decisions on the availability of products or the allocation should be taken without discrimination or regard to arbitrary preferences.”

So if the boss stepped out of a plane onto international soil he could get nailed. Also because of the knock on effect he might find it becoming increasingly difficult to access finance, markets and supplies as those international organizations may in turn be implicated (legally or morally) in the action or inaction of others, directly or indirectly and through beneficial or silent complicity so maybe they won’t want to do business with the complicit.

This stuff is powerful and its very exciting. If it was up to me I would cancel the stay away and take this paradigm shift. Publishing a regularly update list of direct International Law violators and the complicit using a very successful tactic from elsewhere – “Name and Shame”. They were amazed at how effective this was even against organizations deemed to be powerful and uncaring. Even if the violators themselves couldn’t care less, somewhere along the line there may be a critical link in their needs or wants that does not want to be implicated (legally or morally).