I’ve just been into my bank and the conversation went something like this

“Are you online?”
- yes

“Do you have cash?”
- no

“Is the ATM working?”
- no

As Comrade Fatso reminds us in his blog below, our streets are now our supermarkets, and our banks are dealers on corners.

Torn posters of presidential candidates on durawalls. At every intersection. At every street corner. It feels like something from the past, from another era. But this is the era we are in now. Still hanging on the sun-soaked slogans of these ripped-apart politicians. The fist and the fury is our daily bread, our breakfast. As we sit at the robots, the traffic lights. Still. Not moving.

As they decided to invade farms and arrest election officials this past that we are living in just became a worse future. The parallel realities we live in have become the only reality now. The other one is paralysed. So bread is now hustled on street corners for two US dollars. Like an illegal drug. Milk has also joined the list of ‘goods’ that are sold in our parallel economy. Not in the shops but on the streets. And if you’re looking for toliet paper then just drive to the nearest ‘Give Way’ sign, a Zimbabwean ‘Stop’ sign.

In our country survival was criminalised a long time ago. We don’t know what is upside-down or downside-up. Normal means no electricity and a drop of water from the tap. Yet our rulers fill the news with talk of the need for a re-count before Zimbabweans know the-count. Filling the news like cramming empty shop shelves with toilet paper. A disgusting illusion. A lie.

This lunatic competition has taken another crazy turn.

According to the MDC’s latest press statement the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission (ZEC) has disbanded the National Command Centre and shifted the ‘verification process’ to an undisclosed location.

“The MDC secretary-general told journalists in Harare that Lovemore Sekeramayi, the ZEC chief elections officer, had told President Tsvangirai’s chief election agents Chris Mbanga and Morgan Komichi, that verification was now being at another place outside the Harare International Conference Centre. He refused to disclose who was now carrying out the collation and verification exercise and the place where the exercise was now being carried out.”

At this point, only one candidate could benefit from this chicanery – Robert Mugabe.

It’s time he was disqualified. Thabo Mbeki – please raise your red card.

Chirikure Chirikure is one of Zimbabwe’s leading performance poets. His work is featured on a number of web sites including Poetry International, one of the best poetry sites on the Internet.

Here is a poem written in 1998 which gives some pause for thought today.

We fought the war

Inzwai!
We, in diaspora, overseas, fought this war,
We sourced donations and mobilised foreign support
Yet we never lagged behind in our studies, preparing for the future of our country

Aiwa!
We, the boys in the bush, fought the war,
We pulled the trigger, politicised the masses
We slept in the bush – cold, rain or shine.

Bodo!
We, Mujibha and Chimbwido, fought this war
We were the beasts of burden, carrying arms, reconnaissance,
Washing the fighters’ clothing, cooking for them.

Nyangwe!
We, your parents, the peasants, fought the war.
We supplied the clothes, we sold every beast we had.
We supported with morale and prayed to the ancestors.

Yes, we thank you!
The war was fought, blood flowed, homes were destroyed,
The country we fought for, is now ours, we liberated it.
Now, whoever among you has got the key,
Let him open the granary of the country and give us a little grain to cook the little ones a little sadza.
See how parched their lips are?
Like refugees of war.

If there is a run off for the presidential election in Zimbabwe then Mugabe better start printing new posters.

When I’ve been out walking and running some of the streets of Harare I’ve noticed that Zimbabweans are taking back their power and pulling down presidential election posters glued to the walls of their private homes and businesses. Talking about glue, Zanu PF clearly used a poor quality glue because where Zimbabweans aren’t ridding themselves of Robert, the old man is simply peeling off the walls. In the shopping centre where I work, people waiting for their cash from the ATM have taken things a bit further, and have started scrawling profanities on Bob’s posters next to the cash dispenser.

A friend’s relative called her today from Nyamapanda with the news that Mugabe’s war veterans are roaming the country side threatening violence and accusing people of supporting the Movement for Democratic Change (MDC). The person conveying the news said that if there is a run off then its unlikely that people will go out and vote for the MDC again because of the fear of a backlash.

There were over 8000 polling stations around Zimbabwe during the election and the MDC was concerned that at many of the rural polling stations there would be so few people voting that the authorities would be able to identify those who had voted for the opposition, and therefore the possibility of retribution would increase. Philip Barclay’s blog about election monitoring in rural Masvingo substantiates this where he states that the vote tally for Zanu PF was as low as 44 at one polling station.

Meanwhile in the office we’ve just been discussing the new Morgan Tsvangirai stickers starting to spring up in Newlands. Vote Morgan Tsvangirai for President – Africa’s Second Mandela. Hey, but this is a bit of a long shot surely? Comparisons are odious, and this one particularly so.

If anyone was the least confused before, surely all must know the truth by now.

Robert Mugabe has lost the presidential elections in Zimbabwe and his party is doing its best to falsify the results.

There can be no other reason for withholding the results 10 days after polls closed at 7pm on March 29, 2008.

Give us the results, Zimbabwe Electoral Commission and join us in the new Zimbabwe.

A diplomat with a sense of humour – that’s Philip Barclay. I love reading his blogs because they’re rooted in everyday Zimbabwean experience – no grandstanding just personal reflection. Here’s an excerpt from his latest blog in which he shares some of his election monitoring experience undertaken on behalf of the British Embassy. To read his full blog, click here

I am in a tiny place called Bikisa, deep in rural Masvingo, where Robert Mugabe’s ZANU-PF party has won every election that has ever been held. (Ian Smith did not believe in elections for black folk). So my assumption is that the big pile is Mugabe’s.

But I am wrong. The presiding officer asks for the votes to be counted. The smallest pile is Simba Makoni’s – 11 votes. The middling pile is Mugabe’s – 44 votes. Amazingly, incredibly, the Pisa-pile belongs to Morgan Tsvangirai. The polling officer gets tongue-tied at ‘one hundred and twenty-seven’ and loses count. She sighs desperately and starts again. 167. Tsvangirai has won with about three-quarters of the vote.

I force myself to keep breathing steadily; fainting at this point would not become an officer of Her Majesty’s Government.