From the crew at Kalabash:

Now there’s not much rallying left to do so get your gear on and go see what the fuss is about. Make sure you don’t dress too quickly. This is important. If you happen to throw on your Manchester United home kit and wind up at a ZANU rally it may be taken the wrong way and you’ll look like a bull’s eye in a sea of yellow and green. Back slowly out of the arena and go back to your wardrobe. This is a harmless mistake but just so you don’t make it again here’s what not to take to a rally for either of the 2 main parties:

What not to take to a ZANU rally
-Blood-red sneakers or pumps for the ladies
-Red soccer kits: Arsenal, Manchester United, rather go for the Chicken Inn kit, that’s a winner
-You just got your new red G-Shock watch, leave it at home
-Caps: don’t worry you’ll get one there
-On the flipside, if you’re buying a take-away then Chicken Inn packaging might appear to be aligned with the rival party, rather grab a neutral sadza in a Styrofoam container
-Your drink depends on your taste of course but Spa-Letta’s berry flavoured pop might be pushing the boundaries. Grit your teeth and have a sickly sweet but highly patriotic Pine Nut

What not to take to an MDC rally
-Yes you may be a Zimbabwe football fan but sadly today is not about your country, it’s about your party so hang it back in the cupboard
-Housewives/husbands must ensure that they remove their Marigold gloves before leaving the house, this is an easy mistake that would make you look highly suspect
-Even if those flashy yellow earrings really bring out your eyes today don’t risk it, rather hide them behind bright red shades
-Now, as lunchtime approaches and you want an energy boost stay away from those uplifting banana bunches, you’ll look like a party rival with boxing gloves, rather go for an egg and discretely consume the yellow centre
-Finally your drink, luckily for you freezits should be available and at least the indecision you face between red and green doesn’t come into play. Choose red, it’s the right thing to do.

31st of July is going to come and pass but nobody knows what the future holds for Zimbabwe. If one of the contesting parties claims victory in this coming election speculation is high on the fate of the losing candidates and their supporters. As a nation I believe it is high time we go into this election with the mind of a gambler. Win or lose we just have to move on and not to go back to another 2008 era.

My friends in Kenya always tell me that Zimbabwe is like a copy of everything Kenya, and I tried to argue but when I was taken through all the political transitions Kenya went through, and Zimbabwe followed suite I got the picture but I wasn’t convinced on the point of leadership. Kenya was involved in a bloody and disputed election in 2007, which was later, resolved through an inclusive government. A few years later Kenya passed a new constitution and after that they held elections which some may say was peaceful whilst others blamed the invisible hand, which helped propel Uhuru Kenyatta to power. Well I noted the argument on rigging was based on the political affiliation and tribe these two friends of mine belonged to in Kenya. I was told African politics also has roots in tribe and religious beliefs just like what we are experiencing here in Zimbabwe when a running candidate was labeled a tribalist just because he is fighting the injustices people from his region experienced in the past 33 years.

Zimbabweans voted in 2008 and the dispute over the election result brought about the inclusive government and we now wait for elections on the 31st of July under a new charter, which was endorsed earlier this year. The only difference in our transition phase to that of Kenya is in the change of leadership. Just like ZANU-PF which has been in power for the past 33years, Kenya’s Kenya African National Union (KANU) ruled for nearly 40 years since independence and was defeated by the National Rainbow Coalition. If this is the same fate, which is going to face the revolutionary party, then maybe it could be true that were copying everything from Kenya.

In case its escaped you, these days the City of Harare has barely any street cleaners, and the few street cleaners there are probably get paid less for a month’s work than your chef bosses spend on a trip to the pub. So when I see all of your Zanu PF leaflets thrown out of whatever diamond money bought truck that you’ve been zipping around the streets in, I can only think that you’re screwed in the head, stoked up on a bit of election cash in hand.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T … for people who have to clean up after you, for the environment, and how about for yourselves?

The rumour went out this morning

‘They are about to ‘pick up’ particular ‘target’ people from civil society’

(for many have been speaking publically of their worries of rigging and corruption
and producing evidence  and reports to back their claims)
and Sunday is a good day to make arrests as there is no court open to bring a complaint

And we look, again, at the power that  fear can unleash on our energy
how one ‘reliable source of information’ can lead us away from our centers

years ago we responded to these threats by closing down
moving out of our homes/offices – our places of safety – taking refuge until normal life could resume

Today it feels different
a phone-tree between people is activated
the connections with webs already formed is alerted
we close the gates
(burn the Tamil cleansing smoke in the center of the herb spiral – if that calls to you)

make the tea
and watch the sun spread light into the Sunday garden

I did not know whether to laugh or cry when I came across a Zanu PF campaign insert in today’s Herald.

That politicians will say anything to get votes is standard fare for all campaigns, yet the Zanu PF brief shows pictures of blacks being chased by white cops with dogs on leashes back in the 1960s.  1896 photos of Ndebeles shackled.  A sign outside a motel that says “This motel is not multi-racial.” Then we have Joshua Nkomo walking with Fidel Castro, Nkomo and Mugabe smiling at a press conference decades ago, that famous picture of Lookout Masuku with the man then known as Rex Nhongo, gets one thinking where exactly this party locates its relevance in Zimbabwe’s contemporary political space and discourse.

If a party keeps reminding voters of the past 100 years, surely it must be questioned if it has any clue about the future of the nation.

Only the foolish dismiss history’s relevance to a nation’s collective memory, but is that what Zimbabweans want, to be constantly reminded about the “evil settlers?”

Some folks have said Zanu PF has only succeeded in alienating its erstwhile supporters by that obsession with politics of belligerence where anyone who holds divergent views is quickly labeled an associate of the settlers. Even loyal supporters who do not agree with some of the nonsense risks expulsion and lumped together with MDC as a puppet of imperialist!

Just recall Jonathan Samkange who actually sued a fellow “party cadre” after the comrade said Samukange was an MDC plant. Samkange sued, saying that accusation was enough to get him killed!

“Defendant, in associating the plaintiff with the MDC party, intended to injure plaintiff’s reputation and personal security especially in light of Zanu-PF’s slogan, namely, ‘Down with MDC’ means kill MDC members. Defendant is inviting Zanu-PF members to kill plaintiff. The threat is real and potentially injurious to plaintiff’s physical being, feeling and association with other members of the Mudzi community,” Samkange said in papers filed in the Harare High Court.”

That Zanu PF stokes racial hatred is fact well known, and this campaign has become no different, but I would like to believe voters are more sophisticated than Zanu PF imagines.

As Tsvangirai said the other week: “Just wear their T-shirts, but you know what is deep down your heart.”

- Establish confusion around new constitution laws
- Ensure minimal voter education
- Ensure SLOW voter registration (do NOT set up adequate number of stations)|
- Print too many ballots (±2 million extra should be adequate)
- Publish polling stations late (max of 4 days before elections)