Zimbabwean Brian Chikwava was recently included in a stellar line up of writers for a special issue of Granta. The theme was sex.

The Fig Tree and the Wasp

It was 1979 and I had just started primary school. That summer was the first time I witnessed what later became known as iskokotsha, a craze that would, in the euphoria of a newly independent Zimbabwe, trigger the focus of motion in popular dance to snake decisively, seductively, up the body, from the feet to the hips – a sex pantomime of outrageously suggestive moves that enthralled our young nation for the decade to come.

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Number plates
These are not required on your vehicle. Even though the new ones could only be made by some senior politician’s company, and they were found to be the same as a neighbouring country’s, and they have a cute little hologram in them, you may drive around for many months without displaying any, front or back. If you are stopped, claim they must have fallen off on the last pothole, they were in your back window but got lost somehow, or if all that fails, give them your license (see below).

License
You are required to drive with a license (or several). The Zimbabwe license is printed in green ink, and has ’10′ printed prominently on it in several places. Should you be stopped for any reason, you are required to hand you license to the ZRP, at which point you will be free to go. Your license will make ANYTHING, okay. Speeding, driving with undue care, having an unroadworthy vehicle, proceeding through a red light, etc. Right of way If your car is bigger, newer, shinier, or more expensive, then you have the right of way. You can go through the lights first, or the intersection if the lights are not working, you have the right o believe that the lights are not working and therefore you can go through, and everyone else must stop. If your car has four wheels, you can obviously go faster than any two wheeled vehicle (with or without motor), and they must give you right of way (you should not even look).

Traffic Lights
You MUST creep forward at the lights. This is easily done if you have a new automatic. Just don’t bother to keep your foot on the brake, and do not take it out of drive. If you drive a manual transmission, you must keep it in gear (do NOT save fuel), and slip the clutch. The reason for this is simple. The lights can see you. And they appreciate you are important and NEED to be somewhere. The lights, therefore, will change more quickly if you creep into the intersection. Even though we can afford super lights, that can see, we cannot afford road marking paint. So ignore where the old stop line used to be, and stop only a paper thickness away from the intersection (even if you cannot see the lights from there) – but do not accelerate rapidly away from that position, finish your cell call first. If this appears to annoy others, in any way, justify yourself (for being slow or fast), as “you thought the lights were broken”.

Overtaking
Multi lane intersections are a good place to overtake, and show off, that you have a faster, newer car and therefore the right of way. Pull into a centre lane (or whichever is empty), and then make a wide (just turn) into the turning lane (right or left). This may also be done, pulling into a turning lane, and then going straight, forcing other traffic to avoid you and turn a newspaper vendor into road pizza (plenty more where they came from). Stopping The yellow curbs, and all yellow lines, do not apply to you. Other people yes, but not you. You may stop there to talk on your cell phone (which is not obligatory, cell phones should be spoken into at speed, both speed of voice, and speed of vehicle). You may stop there while you ‘just dash in’ to pay your DSTV subscription, pick up passengers, unload a delivery of generators, etc, (even though the ‘dash’ includes times spent in two queues). It is recommended you pull into an intersection, and block traffic approaches on the ‘smaller’ road, while you let off passengers into the larger road’s stream of traffic.

Parking
The sign in front of the grocery shop saying, “No Stopping in Front of Entrance” does not apply to you. After all, you are ‘just dashing in’ to get your week’s foodstuffs. And the people coming out with shopping trolleys ‘will control them’.

School zones
The signs that say ‘No Stopping’ are put there (or were put there, many have been conveniently removed or pushed down now) for other parents. No one would DARE turn your ‘precious little bundle’ into a road pizza. And your children are entering a learning institution. Teach them how to be aloof from ‘the laws of others’. Stop right on the pedestrian crossing. Do not pull over where the road widens, but in the narrowest part. Teach your kids to ‘dash’. Looking both ways is someone else’s job. Do not leave the stream of traffic. You will never get back into it again.

Four Way Flashers
If you have your four way flashers on, no other rules of the road need apply. You may stop in a centre lane to let passengers down. You may turn left from a centre lane. You may stop, as long as necessary, to wait for correct change, (and argue about it) from a newspaper vendor. You may stop in a centre lane and change a tyre, or check that noise under the bonnet.

Road repairs
These are best done in the stream or traffic, or potential stream. Do not attempt to pull off to the verge, as someone might miss you. This is especially the case when in hilly country, where there may be blind rises and fast moving traffic. In addition, in hilly country, you must not allow gravity to assist in helping you to clear your vehicle or large truck from the stream of traffic. Intersections are also a good place to break down, and if a repair vehicle comes by and takes yourself and parts away for fixing, on no account must you use gravity, that vehicle, or any labour, to clear the breakdown out of the way, even if only a meter away. People returning to the scene may not find the broken down vehicle.

Your father
is a man in a red beret
1983
Carrying a rifle
a bayonet affixed
blood dripping
A belly slit open.
Your father
is the man in the red beret
trained in Korea
there is blood
and hair
on his boots
An old man’s head
kicked in.
Your father
carries a smoldering gun
the villagers lie dead
They said
they don’t know
were the dissidents are
Your father is the man
in the red beret
forcing  the villagers to sing
as they dig mass graves
for their mothers, fathers…
Your father’s stiff thing
burned into me
at age fifteen:
To emphasise his conquest
he whispered his
name into my ear
as I lay writhing in pain.
Your father
now an army captain
27 years ago
Chopped Mkhluli to pieces
the boy
not a Dissident
who had made
my loins
burn with desire
Your father
27 years ago
gunned down a mere shopkeeper
for being a dissident
Your father
was the man in a red beret
who extinguished
all feelings
of love
of desire
of hope.
Bitterness
hatred
and despair remain.
Your father
was the man in a red beret
who killed everything
in his path,
including chickens and goats.

© Mgcini Nyoni 2010

In past agricultural shows in Zimbabwe exhibitors have showcased raw agricultural products straight from the farm. However very few of us ever knew that there are amazing value addition initiatives taking place in the remote rural places like Lower Guruve, Murehwa, Mutoko and others. The Processed Products Fair, the first of its kind held at the Harare Show Grounds on the 14th of July 2010 opened a new page in history. With traditional mbira music playing in the background, people mingled looking at the traditional goods that were on sale.

The show was organized by Zimbabwe Adding Value to Sustainable Produce (ZAVSAP), a coalition of nine Local Non Governmental Organizations that spearhead the introduction and training of value addition initiatives in the rural parts of Zimbabwe. Some of the organizations that showcased brilliant products include the Community Technology Development Trust (CTDT), Lower Guruve Development Association (LGDA), Caritas Zimbabwe, and Cluster Agricultural Development Services (CADS) among others.

Mr. Thomas Pouppwz, the ZAVSAP Communications Facilitator explained that his organization is a coalition of organizations that work largely in Mashonaland provinces to ensure food security. The network comes up with initiatives like workshops, training and scholarships. The network discovered that Zimbabwe has a lot of potential but its agricultural goods are being sold unprocessed.

He explained that the fair’s purpose is to show what is happening out in the rural areas, and market the products. One interesting move is the invitation of other NGOs and businessmen who might make deals with farmers so that the products may be sold on a larger scale.

Memory Rusike a farmer who works with CTDT expressed great interest in the project of producing traditional vegetables. She explained that these vegetable are very helpful to people that are living with AIDS. She confidently explained the process of drying the vegetables using a locally invented solar drier. Memory encouraged young children to stop looking down upon traditional vegetables, which she said, keep people healthy.

Ms. Muslin Fusire, one of the Programme Managers for CTDT, explained that the organization noticed that the traditional vegetables were fast becoming extinct despite their being more nutritious than the exotic ones. As a result the organization started to promote the production, utilization and commercialization of traditional vegetables. Ms Fusire feels encouraged that men are also coming aboard the venture, which is usually called “a women’s business”. Commenting on the impact that the project has had on people, she indicated that the benefits have been both economic and nutritional.

Mr. Sherperd Kamudyariwa, a bee farmer from Lower Guruve Developmemt Association, explained how he produces products from honey. His range of products include wax, mosquito repellent jelly as well as honey.

Lillian Machivenyika, from Cluster Agricultural Development Services (CADS) explained that her organization operates in Mashonaland East and Mashonaland Central. She said CADS works with community-based organizations in teaching farmers how to produce crops and further process them. CADS have also published a recipe book that contains all the information on how some products are produced and further processed.

In Zimbabwe today it is encouraging that rural people are getting this support to add value to their products. Of worry is the fact that the projects seem to be largely NGO driven. The government is called upon to intervene and cooperate in this endeavor, which has the potential to see the farmers of traditional foods making a mark on both the local and global market. It is our great hope that the Processed Product Fair will become an annual event and will also draw international attention.

It takes some form of courage for one to admit having done something wrong especially in the face of the wronged. In religious circles, it is believed that it is difficult to please God, yet what he only needs is a mere admittance of having sinned followed by repentance. People are prepared to forego Heaven for the reason that they cannot admit having made a mistake. Today on behalf of all Zimbabweans, I have chosen to be different.

My memory sends me back to times when people from Malawi and Zambia were flocking to Zimbabwe in search of employment. They worked in mines and farms for a living. Most local Zimbabweans looked down upon these people and started calling them names, “mabwidi”, “mabudya”, “maburanyuchi” etc. All these names depicted a people who did not have much wisdom or property. Those who came from Malawi were called maBhurandaya, a term derived from the largest Malawian city called Blantyre. The word as nice as it is was used in contexts, which were usually demeaning and humiliating. Yes it was a source of pride to be Zimbabwean, we were glad to be us and some people envied us.

Then came the era that many people from Mozambique, usually men, illegally crossed through the Tete province into the Northern parts of Zimbabwe. Most of them had no documentation so they sought refuge in the communalities of Rushinga, Mr. Darwin and some came as far as Bindura on foot. They were looking for employment and all they could get were domestic jobs, looking after cattle and goats mostly in exchange for food, shelter and a little money. Many of them have gone back with accusations of theft and rape among other sins. The few fortunate ones got married in Zimbabwe and stayed as our sons in-law. Even though that was legal, the perception with which we looked at these in-laws was demeaning, as depicted in the novel “Akada wekure” where locals would apparently be against the foreigner. These people from distant, usually unknown places were not easily defined as part of our communities. Our sisters who chose to be married to them suffered the same fate. The resilient ones are now part of our communities even though some have since returned to Mozambique.

As events started to unfold, the wheel turned against the Zimbabwean locals. Because of their urban type of lifestyle, without communal homes and usually being employees of big companies, people from Malawi and Zambia are the majority of the first African urban house owners in Zimbabwe. Most of the time we knock on their doors looking for one or two rooms to rent.

The Zimbabwe we all loved turned sour. We started to look for exits out of our motherland to assume the same status that we used to afford our fellow neighbors. In what part of the world don’t you find us? Many of us have crossed to Mozambique, Botswana and South Africa in search of basic food commodities. Some have gone to work as housemaids, and farm laborers in neighboring countries. The word Zimbo has become popular to refer to Zimbabweans that are all over the world today. In South Africa, the term Makwerekwere is used to refer to foreigners, coincidentally the northern part of Zimbabwe comprises a Shona tribe called the Korekore tribe. It sounds like South Africans hate the Shona more than any other foreigners. Zimbabweans living in other countries face the fear of xenophobia.

I am really against the ill treatment of foreigners in countries. In that light I wish to publicly apologize for the demeaning perception that we had of our neighbors during our better days, apologize for the ill treatment that we might have done to some people who were in need. I hope the apology reaches the mailbox of the highest God and blessings will befall my country Zimbabwe.

Here’s another reason why state-controlled media should be boycotted. Below is an email we recently received from a Kubatana subscriber living in the south of Zimbabwe.

I’m aware that Kubatana’s correspondence with the public ended on 31 May 2010 but since COPAC has postponed outreach dates for Bulawayo, then this petition still applies. This is a plea on a personal level and petition on behalf of millions of people in Bulawayo and the South-South Western part of Zimbabwe who have no access to newspapers or simply cannot afford them.

For the Constitution making outreach programme to be meaningful to Zimbabweans, you will agree that we need to be constantly educated and informed on issues that affect us with regard to the laws of the land. In my view, radio is the cheapest, most effective medium of mass communication with the broadest coverage reaching even the simplest man on the street. With this in mind, please allow me to detail my grievance against ZBC.

Since 3 April 2010, there has been a breakdown in transmission of SFM radio and National FM Radio in the above mentioned areas. This was after an initial breakdown from 29 February 2010 to 1 March 2010 which was rectified after 3 days.

SFM airs programmes on the judicial system, parliamentary affairs, sexual reproductive health, education, religion, arts, politics, sports, business and finance, agriculture and mining, etc. These programmes have platforms for comment and debate besides the fact that they are educating and informative. It is therefore clear that such a radio station is vital for ALL Zimbabwean citizens to be well-informed and knowledgeable enough to make meaningful contribution during the constitution-making outreach programme (especially the urban citizen).

In my personal capacity, I have made serious attempts to have the SFM management to address this issue but to no avail.

* On 1 March 2010, I texted Hilton Mavise, Shift Head of Montrose Studio FM. He ignored the message.
* On April 21, I called Mrs. Nonceba Mkandla, the Area Manager for Bulawayo based at Montrose Studio. She said she had done all she could to prompt her superiors to address the issue to no avail. She said the problem was from Transmedia and TelOne faults. She even gave me Minister Webster Shamu’s two mobile saying the issue should be taken to him. Obviously neither of the Minister’s numbers was ever reachable.
* On May 7 2010, I called Rodney Rwende, the Shift Manager of SFM in Pockets Hill. Without bothering to hear what my problem was, he claimed his phone battery was low and gave me his superior’s number instead.
* On the same day, I called Simon Mkhithika, Head of SFM. He said he was aware of the problem. He was not any more helpful than the others but instead blamed the problem on some mysterious POLITICAL issue regards broadcasting that had been offset by Jonathan Moyo.
* I have called the engineers at Montrose and the radio presenters and the majority were rude, contempt of our plight and downright bureaucratic to protect their superiors.
* I have tried to reach Allen Chiweshe, Head of Radio Programming for ZBC on both his mobile and landline, to no avail. From this true information, it is clear I have gone out of my way to find numbers and call for rectification of the problems to no avail.

This led me to the conclusion that ZBC SFM is deliberately ignoring the breakdown in transmission to keep us ill-informed regards the pertinent issues that could equip us to make meaningful contribution to the new constitution. Besides that, ZBC continues to demand radio and TV license fees from this region despite their awareness that we have no access to either SFM or National FM. The licence fees are equivalent to those paid in Harare and Northern Zimbabwe although clearly this is grossly unfair as the capital has access to ZTV channel 2 at no additional cost. Is it coincidence that the languages targeted by National FM (e.g. Tonga, Venda, Sotho, Nambya, etc ) are spoken by people mainly found in the parts of Zimbabwe affected by the breakdown? I think not since ZBC (has not bothered to address this problem) regards these as minority people in Zimbabwe.

Why hasn’t ZBC at least spoken to us to address this problem via Power FM, Radio Zim or ZTV? Should we be silenced and accept ZBC’s excuse that the problem is Transmedia and TelOne’s baby when the problem affects its paid-up licence holders who will soon be expected to make contributions to the COPAC teams? Would it not be better for ALL willing Zimbabweans to be heard at a discreet but national radio level first, before the smaller, face-to-face platforms of the COPAC outreach reach them? Should this evil of clear regionalism, tribalism and sabotage of the constitution making process be ignored? Should our right to information and service provision for something we pay for be demanded? Should incompetence and corruption regards this issue be politicised?

Why is it when it comes to radio and TV transmission, Harare and its surroundings is never affected but Bulawayo has perennial problems including this current and on-going problem? Should sanctions be blamed on an issue that never affects Harare but makes it a mockery to say Bulawayo is the second-largest city? Do Cuthbert Dube and his fellow ZBC Board members even know about this issue since they have ensured that there is no clear platform for complaints regards faults and breakdowns of the service they chair? Does Happison Muchetetere, CEO of ZBC care about this problem and is he aware of its impact on this historic constitution making process on Southern Zimbabwean citizens?

We would sue ZBC if we had the means and know-how to do so. But then we are just ordinary citizens who are simply petitioning for this problem to be resolved and for us to be heard.