I loved every single one of them – the beautiful series of TV ads from South Africa’s Independent Electoral Commission.  Each one was crafted to gently nudge citizens to register for and vote in the recently held municipal elections.  “Love your South Africa” was the poignant payoff line that summarised the advertisements’ intent.  I must admit, I felt quite moved to take-part in their elections myself.

Can you imagine if our own Zimbabwe Electoral Commission undertook a similar TV ad-campaign for voter mobilisation?  That would be something!  I know its wishful thinking.  There’s no money to conduct elections this year, let alone to design slick adverts.  And with nothing independent in the name or operations of the ZEC, having a non-partisan campaign is doubtful.

Nonetheless, one can dream.

They could start by showing black and white footage of people in long, winding queues.  Then the voice over would say “Lest we ever forget” as the ad would continue to show Zimbabweans patiently waiting to exercise their right to access cash, bread and anything that wasn’t readily available at the time.

“The fight for our democratic rights was hard,” the voice over would add before a melancholy tune begins playing.  Images would be run of women being beaten, battered and bruised political activists, maimed villagers and the lifeless bodies of once-promising youths.  I am certain we wouldn’t have to search far for such material.  There was more than enough violence perpetrated in the period 2006-2011.

Then the music would pick up pace and become a happy melody.  The voiceover would announce, “But that fight is over.  The people of Zimbabwe won.”  This would be accompanied by pictures showing the wealth gained from the struggle; fallow farms and derelict factories.  To emphasise the point, a snippet of an interview with a young man would be shown where he would enthuse how wonderful the fruits of our democracy are. “Currently I’m unemployed … because of illegal sanctions,” he quickly adds.  “But my tomorrow looks bright, thanks to the sacrifices of those who have gone before me.”

The pictures of some of the country’s most prominent independence-struggle icons would be displayed, concluding with that of the President in all his boisterous self.  Cue the voice over: “We fought hard to be where we are today.  Let’s ensure that this is the only future we’ll ever have.”

The background music would reach its crescendo, the screen would cut to a shot of the ZEC logo and the voice over would conclude:  “Make your mark and vote in the 2011 General Elections.  Your life depends on it!”

A recent statement from Bulawayo Agenda:

Zimbabwe Union of Journalists (ZUJ) president, Dumisani Sibanda says journalists are one of the least paid employees in the land. Sibanda was speaking at the Bulawayo Press Club yesterday night. He said journalists are paid salaries that are not commensurate with the amount of work they do.

“Most reporters put in overtime at their newsrooms writing stories till late. But they are not paid for that time. Instead, they sign overtime for drivers who take them home,” said Sibanda.

He urged journalists to demand their dues and to form unions at their work place. Sibanda then took a swipe at the harassment of journalists by the state organs. He said journalists have become news instead of writing news.

Bemoan? Surely that should read REJECT. Here’s a statement from Bulawayo Progressive Residents Association:

Residents bemoan ZBC licences

BULAWAYO residents have expressed dismay over Zimbabwe Broadcasting Corporation (ZBC) Television licences that they are required to pay annually. This comes after ZBC employees, have in the last few weeks, been going around informing residents that they owe the broadcaster US$50 in unpaid licence fees for this year and an additional US$20 in penalties for late payment. What has irked residents most is that most of them no longer tune into ZBC, preferring broadcasts from outside the country that they access through satellite television providers such as Multi Choice. Most Zimbabweans in urban areas have been resorting to satellite television due to poor programming by ZBC. In addition, residents have argued that the television licences are steep taking into account that most people are unemployed while the few that are employed are earning paltry salaries that are below the poverty datum line. Residents also believe that it is unfair for them to financially support ZBC when it is well know that the broadcaster is a state broadcaster as opposed to a public broadcaster and therefore propagandistic in nature. They said there was a need for ZBC to improve its programming, be converted into a public broadcaster and licence fees to be reviewed downwards to cater for residents with low incomes.

In an email chillingly entitled It Has Started, a Zimbabwean living in rural Chipinge shared with Kubatana this news:

It has started all over again in the rural areas of Chipinge. You can see some youth running and singing chimurenga songs and you can easily tell that the war is about to begin all over again. We want journalists here in Chipinge. People are being killed without any recognition. We have never had our President Tsvangirai coming to adress people, yet Chipinge is one of the few places with more than 80% real change suporters. Can you be our mouth to our honourable PM.

We forwarded this email to the MDC.

Recently Christopher Hitchens writing on the revolution in Egypt in Vanity Fair suggested that “Egypt is not a country that has an army, but an army that has a country.”

Sounds similar to Zimbabwe especially when we see headlines like Zimbabwe military chiefs plot to take power.

Mugabe has a magic stick that makes women go weak at the knees, according to an article on NewZimbabwe.com. Perhaps he trawled the Mail and Guardian classifieds and came across this advert:

Mama Makeba and Baba Madiba

Pay after the job is done! They do jobs with 100% guarantee that you won’t regret.

-    Take out bad luck and tokoloshes
-    Open a big business/company within a year
-    Magic wallet/stick (pay every week)
-    Rats/short boys (pay every month)
-    Bring back lost lover same day (pay after results)
-    S/he be yours permanently
-    Penis enlargement all sizes

Don’t stress yourself. Call now!