Sometimes you just have to ask yourself about the frequency of knee-jerk reactions of government officials each time there is a political scandal that the mandarins invariably blame on the media for being “beamed’ to the public. The latest of course is the WikiLeaks excitement that has Zimbabwe in suspended animation to see what happens next as Mugabe fumbles for loyalists. Webster Shamu has responded rather predictably by threatening to shoot the messenger – the private press who are understandably having a field day reporting the explosive contents of the cables from US diplomats in Harare.

Like always, Shamu is dealing with fringe players who have nothing to do with the leaks. And this at a time when the relevance of the private media has never been so pressing as Zimbabwe heads for polls anytime in the not-so-distant future. The private media and proponents of unfettered access to information have reason to sit up and take notice and can only ignore Shamu’s pronouncements about effectively outlawing “Fleet street” to their own peril well knowing of course there is precedence to these threats to press freedom.

Someone mentioned the other day that Zimbabwe is now ripe for another printing press bombing, and when people start talking like that, you have to ask yourself if our politics is really that antithetic to democratic conversations. But then, you can ignore Zanu PF threats only if your name is Johnny Bravo! That of course is not any attempt to treat the country’s political and media relations as a laughing matter – remembering of course that a miffed Shamu once called some folks Andy Capp-types! Shamu typifies the straw-man fallacy in that, instead of addressing the real issues, he chooses to attack a constituency that has nothing to do with the matter at hand: he has chosen to attack the media, effectively telling the messengers not to deliver what no doubt has so far become 2011’s biggest political story here.

After all, in the aftermath of these leaked cables, everyone (at least in my world, every sensible Zimbabwean!)  is already celebrating the  first public signs of the demise of Shamu’s party and creatives are busy crafting pun-filled epitaphs. And now that Jonathan Moyo has said it loud and proud and after sleepless nights that these presidential back-stabbers must own up to their utterances, we wonder then why the heck Shamu is getting so volcanic hot under the collar and getting all puffed up inviting the wrath of cardiac arrest and at the wrong people! But then when you have SpongeBob Squarepants-types in charge of managing political information and attempting to hide behind very thin fingers, you can bet your ass you will be engaging in a dialogue with a bunch of morons.

Instead, let them eat each other, no one will mourn.

More from Comrade Fatso …

I’m Mr Explorer in eighteen something and three
Who discovered this vast, virgin African territory
Utterly unknown you see
Apart from a pocket of peoples like the Hutus, the Tutsis
The Luo, the Tuareg, the Shona, the Masai,
Yoruba, Bambara, Zulu and Fulani
But they don’t count really
So yes this dark continent was discovered by me
I’m Mr Missionary armed with a book
Settlers will arrive soon so quick take a look
It talks of miracles, parables, temples ‘n’ disciples
Worship God and no other idols
It’s filled with trials, tribulations, testaments and tales
Just remember the weak shall inherit the earth
And God is a white male
Your minds and souls are all we ask
Capturing your bodies is someone else’s task

I’m Mr Setller here to each colonisation 101
We’re gonna liberate your land and you’ll be governed by the gun
After stealing your soil you can’t sit back and relax
Coz we’ll make you our workers by making you pay tax
We’ll destroy your industry and make you produce products that are primary
We’ll invest in infrastructure and run your resources to the sea
We’ll pull out our paint brushes and paint you some borders
It’s a fantastic old tactic called divide and conquer
Coz I’m Mr International Finance here to fund your independence
We’ll douse you with debts while we reap the benefits
Take down your tariffs, slash social spending
Hold back on health, here comes the happy ending
We’ll flood your country with our goods
We’ll privatize your national foods
Now you ask what all this meant
This ladies and gentlemen is development.

Well done to everyone who signed a petition, wrote a blog, submitted a letter to the editor, or otherwise complained about Luxurygate – The purchase of government vehicles.

Public discussion and pressure around this issue has prompted the statement below from the Prime Minister’s office – It’s a real shame that it takes people getting outraged about an issue before government finds the need to explain its actions. But steps like this will hopefully lead to the policy changes outlined below for accountability and transparency in government salaries and expenditure.

Cars for Ministers: The facts

There have been reports in the press of late about unjustified expenditure of motor vehicles for Cabinet Ministers and senior government officials.

Indeed it is the duty of the press in a democratic society to oversee the State and excesses of government.

A vibrant media that is not indebted to any political organisation is the cornerstone of any democracy.

However, to the extent that the Press is the Fourth Estate which plays a critical role in any society, it has an obligation to be fair, impartial, objective and accurate. That is why every journalist is taught the value of public interest, privilege and truth.

Public interest is key but it is not best served by mistruths and sensationalism.

In 2010, the Government of Zimbabwe set aside $1,5 million for the purchase of off-road vehicles for Cabinet Ministers and other senior Government officials. The money was disbursed to the Ministry of Transport in December 2010. CMED, a private company, has proceeded to acquire the vehicles which are a condition of service for Cabinet Ministers.

Since January 2011, the Ministry of Finance has been gazetting accounts following the procurement of vehicles for education officers, health officials and other key departments in line with allocations in the 2011 budget. There has been no allocation for Cabinet ministers in 2011 and the off-road vehicles, procured this year from the allocation in 2010, are for outreach duties.

Like all civil servants, whose plight everyone concedes must be improved, Cabinet Ministers are not on meaningful salary. Their salary does not include any allowances such as housing and education because of the limited fiscal space.

However, the so-called Luxurygate teaches all of us important lessons.

Firstly, that there must be transparency in the conditions of service, remuneration and other perks for all senior officers. While the current law says only the President’s salary should be gazetted, perhaps we need greater transparency where all remuneration and benefits for everyone in Government are made public so that there is no room for speculation.

Secondly, it is important for everyone in public service, including cabinet Ministers, to declare their assets and for the Government to have a comprehensive and vehicle policy.

The bottom line is that civil servants and Cabinet Ministers must be well remunerated so that they are able to buy vehicles from their own salary.

In the face of accusations of profligacy, the Prime Minister, as the head of Government charged with the responsibility of formulating and implementing Government policy, has sought to clarify the cost and the context of the procurement of the alleged vehicles.

The Government should not operate as a secretive enclave. In the public interest, the Ministry of Transport should state the full facts, the number of vehicles procured and the total cost to the taxpayer.

Luke Tamborinyoka
Spokesperson
Office of the Prime Minister

From Comrade Fatso, one of Zimbabwe’s best spoken word poets:

Mdhara we ma Sweets/Mr Candyman

They call him Mr Candyman, Mdhara we ma Sweets
Trodding all over town with bags of tricks ‘n’ treats
His scream like seventy sirens silencing the streets
He’s known to break into dreams and steal your signature while you sleep
His feet are bandaged with the people’s hijacked hopes
His hands hard as dogma hanging like hanging ropes
His bag filled with al the sleepers souls he stole
His eyes murky and deep like puddle that’s pothole
His goal is to teach the children to undream
Exchanging hopes for sweets is his sugar-coated scheme
Hawking his goods in this land half-full, half-empty
Telling people that his sweets are their sovereignty

Mdhara keeps tricks for his enemies and treats for his friends
For friends read vendors who lick his boots with no end
But then again no vendor ever truly made it
As soon as they got close to him their goods would be confiscated
One hawker though comes to mind
He became really popular -  Blaz we Airtime
Who sold cellphone credit and dreams to the poor
Let the people talk and talk some more
Everyone was connected and the people were enthralled
They texted his name, spoke of him when they called
Insisting he was inspired to change their world
All across the land they spoke his name
Blaz we Airtime had brought the winds of change

Mdhara got the message and read the text
Realised this time of air could be the end of his sweet success
This new network could knock him to the pits
So he reached deep into his dark bag of tricks
Invited Blaz to join him at his stall
A rickety cardboard box called ‘The Sweet Juice Up Mall’
Blaz’s customers came hour after hour
But soon the deal became sickeningly sour
Mdhara kept eighty percent of all profits made
Decided the prices, made sure Blaz’s pay was delayed
Soon Blaz ran out of credit
The people couldn’t top up and they couldn’t get his messages
They sent him a please call me back hoping he hadn’t become a traitor
He replies “Your dreams are currently unavailable. Please try again later”
Finally Mdhara got him arrested for hawking hope without a licence
The police pounced and kicked him for his kindness
As Blaz is dragged away he screams “Mdhara, one thing. Where’s your name from?”
Mdhara replies “The people long ago asked me for change.  I gave them chocolates and chewing gum”

I’ve recently heard about a new directive from the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe. Announced in RBZ Governor Gono’s July Monetary Policy Statement, it effects sellers of immovable property such as real estate.

A synopsis by MBCA Bank Limited explains the directive, but the notice on the Seeff home page draws more question marks around it, in terms of it not being written down formally or gazetted in a Statutory Instrument.

Effectively, the new policy required home sellers to wait a year before they can access the proceeds from selling their property. During that year, the money goes into a special “FCA Property” account. I’ve heard some estate agents argue that the new regulations “aren’t so bad.” You can access $50,000 of the value immediately, you can earn interest on the funds in the meantime, and you can access them if, for example, you have sold one house to buy another, or if you need to pay for things like school fees or other services locally or internationally.

But looking back at the past decade of Reserve Bank autonomy – and the impunity with which it printed money, financed pet-projects and engaged in quasi-fiscal activities such as car purchasing, it’s very difficult not to be cynical.

Surely if I sell my asset, the proceeds from this sale (barring perhaps something like a capital gains tax) are mine? No doubt since the switch to the US Dollar, the Reserve Bank has been short of work. Is the RBZ not trying to just divert all property sale proceeds through itself so it can keep some operating funds, have to fire fewer people,  and try and keep itself afloat a little bit longer?

I’m surprised not to have heard more about this. Maybe it isn’t actually as outrageous a move as it sounds? Or maybe  property sellers are such a small pool, the RBZ knows it can target them in this way without too much fall out? But if Zimbabwe is serious about trying to rebuild its economy and attract investment, surely the idea should be to make the transaction environment more free, rather than more restricted? It sounds like one rationale behind this new regulation is that buyers and sellers have been moving off shore without the Zimbabwean economy benefiting from these transactions at all. I agree that’s problematic – but with a history of the RBZ seizing assets, freezing accounts, and redirecting funds for its own purposes, is there any wonder investors are reluctant to keep their funds here? Surely moves like this one make it even more difficult to recover, rather than less?

Informed opinions about the legality of this move by the RBZ, and what it means for the Zimbabwean economy, are most welcome.

ZESA Holdings Group Stakeholder Relations Manager, Mr Fullard Gwasira clarified the new electricity tariffs In a telephone interview. He said that the 31% increase in tariff was not an increase in the overall charge to ZESA customers and the new tariff is structured as follows:

- The first 50 kWh had increased to 2.35c
- 51kWh to 300kWh will be charged at 11c
- Any usage over 300kWh will be charged at 15.c

Mr Gwasira said that with the new tariff they expected the average customer bill to be charged at 9.34c/ kWh. Since ZESA has removed the fixed monthly charge, this will translate to a marked reduction in charges to the customer, as long as they remain within expected usage parameters.

ZESA has changed its tariff scheme because the company is unable to sustain its operations. In the period 2009 to present the commodity prices of water, diesel and coal, all of which are required to generate power increased, but ZESA was not been able to raise its tariffs in order to compensate. Electricity in Zimbabwe was subsidised by the government through the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe, however, since dollarization, the RBZ has been unable to support ZESA operations leading the power supplier to operate at sub-economic levels. Other factors affecting electricity tariffs include the strengthening of the Rand against the US Dollar, as ZESA purchases power from South Africa and Mozambique, both countries are members of the Rand monetary Union. Further there had been no inflation adjustments to the price of electricity.

Mr Gwasira went on to say that on the 1st January 2009 ZESA had written off customer bills that were unpaid prior to this date.

View the tariff schedule here