In Harare there are two annoyances motorists have to constantly be on the lookout for: hungry traffic police and potholes.

I have just collected one of my tyres from Montagu service station after parting with a hefty $40 to get it fixed.  Harare is one of those cities in the world where potholes morph into sinkholes. Yesterday I drove straight into a crater I couldn’t circumvent because of oncoming traffic. In any case it was the kind of road where you can’t exactly avoid potholes because they just look like Swiss cheese.   If I had any close associations with individuals like his honour, Justice Cheda, I would also probably be able to sue and demand compensation from either the city council or government. Members of Parliament have asked for brand new 4x4s citing the bad state of roads that are prohibiting them from visiting their constituencies.  To them, 4x4s seem to be the only solution though compounded by lack of money/will/interest to repair roads. The majority of roads now just need to be repaved. I shudder to imagine the nightmare of happening upon lethal water filled sinkholes come rainy season. I wonder if any of the $950 million credit lines from our ‘all weather friend’ China could be channeled towards road repair.

This morning I was allegedly  ‘nabbed’ for running the ‘orange’ on Tongogara and Prince Edward Street.  In Harare, it is a complete waste of time to try and explain anything to traffic cops most of whom I doubt have drivers’ licenses or understand the mechanisms associated with driving. The bored looking cop came up to my window and asked me how my day was. Good, I said. How is yours? Bad, he said. Because he had no money in his pocket, he explained. But he was sure I could share what I had. A minute later and ticketless, I drove off with a clear conscience because I’d rather feed that hungry looking fellow and his family with $10 than part with $20 that supposedly goes to the ‘state’ in the form of spot fine. I reasoned to myself that some of the cops fleece us because they are underpaid and have a genuine need to clothe, educate and feed their families. The ‘state’ is not using the collected spot fines to repair roads and traffic lights. Only God knows if that money is not part of what lines the pockets of and sponsors shopping sprees in Malaysia by you-know-who.

A gender advocacy group is trying to shove self-righteous coolade down Julius Malema’s throat on allegations of hate speech. The ANCYL President is understood to have suggested that Zuma’s alleged rape victim enjoyed the sex because if she hadn’t, she wouldn’t have waited until the sun came out, had breakfast and asked for taxi fare. In my mind I am thinking, ok, what are the prescribed behavior patterns for rape victims? Obviously the youth leader who is coming across more as Zuma’s naïve lackey has no understanding or comprehension of the complexities of rape. Well, whether or not that woman did her things in that neat order the most striking thing is that imbeciles like Malema are left to lead the youth in South Africa. Surely political lapdogs like him are a liability to democracy and ought to be exterminated or locked up before they breed.

Speaking of locked up, the ZLHR today organized a workshop that sought to promote the rights of prisoners in Zimbabwe. Several presentations were made that showed that evidently, the state of or prisons is worse than abandoned dog kennels. Prisoners are hungry and walk around next to naked. Sexual and physical abuse is rampant and disease is claiming a lot of them in droves. The most touching were two things – mothers with little babies are locked up in there and have to share whatever meals they get with their children. There are no separate portions for the kids.

When the mothers menstruate, they have to use pieces of blankets for pads. Secondly; juveniles who have committed petty crime (although in my books there is nothing like that) are thrown together with hardened criminals who instantly turn them into wives, so to speak. At the end of a session, I found I wasn’t the only one struggling with indecision faced with the moral need to provide basic human rights to prisoners and the thought that a lot of them actually are hardcore criminals who have raped, robbed and killed our kith. The workshop continues tomorrow but for now I thought to myself, if Malema was to spend just one night at Chikurubi, I couldn’t give a rat’s ass if he starved.

Last night in an effort to fall asleep I took a gender mentality quiz from a recent FEMINA publication. The quiz was titled, “Do you think like a man”. The questions got more interesting as I got to understand what the author considered ‘male behavior’ that ‘normal’ women supposedly shouldn’t ordinarily display.

You had to strongly agree, agree or disagree with listed statements in the quiz. Some of them were: I can programme the remote control for my TV all by myself (of course I can!). I understand how a parliamentary system works. I know the basic rules of most sports including golf and tennis. I didn’t cry when I watched the Titanic (me, I didn’t really.) I know what an AC/DC transformer is and silliest of all; the angle between the floor and all four walls of any room is probably 90 degrees. Duh! I scored a lot of strongly agrees and at the end of the quiz, fell under the category of uber-male, i.e without any hint of womanly thought and susceptible to the same kind of weaknesses of the male mind in being unable to empathize with others and communicate needs effectively. What utter rubbish. Just because I understand a few things makes me male minded? I was surprised certain things were considered a preserve only for male species.

Anyhow, there was probably an element of truth in some of the things because for instance, here in Zimbabwe, how many women actually understand or even want to understand how the parliamentary system works, let alone the constitutional reform process that is currently staring at us?

At a Gender Forum meeting I attended recently, it was noted that a trend developed amongst women during the 1999 consultative processes. The women tended to boycott such processes because they simply either did not understand the processes and the constitution itself or recognize its immediate relevance to their lives. Some women are generally ‘technophobic’ and far removed from the language used in the constitution. Others simply do not care probably because they do not think their participation would make any marked difference anyway. These factors have presided over the oppression of women for a long time.

The chance to once and for all do away with the authoritarian 1979 Lancaster House constitution that has been amended at least over 15 times is here, and it would be such a disservice if women did not grab this opportunity to advance their interests especially in line with the many loopholes that dog the current constitution.

I believe it is up to civil society to point out to many an ignorant woman that a constitution determines how they are governed, and that our current constitution does not provide for things like reproductive health and sexual rights or guarantee women’s equal access to ownership and control of property. It also has sections like the S111B that prevent the automatic application of international human rights treaties like CEDAW. This would be an opportunity to lobby for the inclusion of women in parliamentary sub-committees and also ensure that the lack of a guarantee of security of a person’s bodily and psychological integrity is done away with, especially in view of the fact that there is a lot of justice outstanding from the violence that accompanied last year’s harmonized elections.

I believe it is up to all of us as individuals to take it upon ourselves to encourage and educate our neighbors about partaking in this critical process and attend consultative meetings. It is about time we set the precedent for our own possible Obama-like election hopefully to be called in 2011. The South Africans have just had something of a democratic election, and they boast one of the most democratic constitutions on the continent. It would be nice for once to stop wishing and thinking  when we too shall see democracy skate across our land. Only we can make it happen if we start by being or neighbor’s keeper.

When are the great majority of Zimbabwean people going to take some responsibility for what they are allowing to happen to them and get off their backsides and do something about it for themselves? I am fed up of the whinging and lack of action coming out of Zimbabwe. Other countries in the same position have fought their oppressors. Yes, it has cost lives and caused hardship but they have eventually overthrown the oppressive regime controlling them. Zimbabweans are not even prepared to organise “a day on the streets” or any other civil unrest in case they get hurt or arrested. This is not the way to change things. For goodness sake get out there and fight for your basic freedoms whatever it may cost you in the short-term. Mugabe relies on your inaction to retain his power and day after day, week after week, month after month you let him get away with it. Why? Only a few brave souls raise their heads above the parapet and so are easily picked off. Get behind Jestina and here ilk, follow them, and give them support. Protest as never before when people are abducted, when a two year old is incarcerated, when people are tortured. Do something about it; Let Mugabe know it is not acceptable. For God’s sake, and your own, do something to get Mugabe’s attention and indeed that of the whole world. Stand up and fight like people who want their freedom. Don’t rely on others. – Ken, UK

The above is a comment on an article by David Coltart.

I thought the author was right and he was also wrong – if it is at all possible to be right and wrong at the same time. What I do know deep in my heart is that some things are easier said than done. And if you’ve never had to survive under a dictatorship, you just don’t know what the hell you are talking about. Because you just can’t fathom that the non existence of democracy entails a lot of things including that you cant just up and make a noise faced with bullets and a real disregard for human life. You also have no idea that dictators are practically untouchable, at least by the ordinary citizen. Here in Zimbabwe they move in kilometer long motorcades and their functionaries are armed to the teeth and ready to kill anything that moves within a short distance from the dictator.

Zimbabweans got off their backsides and actually did something, which was to vote. Mugabe disrespected the will of the people and is intent on staying in power until “only God removes him”. Activists have peacefully taken to the streets and the police have descended like tons of bricks. Understandably, people now fear for their lives.

Do something to get his attention? You bet the guy knows he’s the most unwanted person right now. He is also aware of the fact that hunger and cholera are wiping out whole communities of this nation. If someone can be aware of all that and still remain indifferent, what more do you think ordinary citizens can do? This indifference is our biggest challenge.

I also wish to relay the fact that Zimbabwe is going through what OCHA describes as a “complex emergency.” According to OCHA, a complex emergency is a “humanitarian crisis in a country, region or society where there is total or considerable breakdown of authority resulting from internal or external conflict and which requires an international response”. I think this means in essence that when a state has collapsed and its citizens’ livelihoods are gravely threatened it becomes the obligation of the regional and international community to intervene. Hopefully the world has learned a few lessons from Rwanda, Darfur and Uganda’s Idi Amin.

We are an unarmed people under siege.

Whenever the Prof Arthur Mutambara opens his mouth, all his guts fall out.

Of late, each time he has conducted an interview or written an article, it’s full of insults, sprinkled with unimaginably contemptuous and uncivil epithets or simply void of clear perspective. I’m reminded the last time he lost his cool in an interview with SW Radio Africa and needlessly ended up insulting the innocent interviewer. He said she was too slow, poor Violet. He is one of those whom after listening to what they say; you are left unsure of what exactly they stand for politically or whether something close to a fart has just been flung in your face. You just can’t fathom whose interests they represent because personally, they seem to possess none rational.

The good Prof has just unleashed another masterful fusillade to usher us into the New Year and it is aptly titled as Laying the Foundation for 2009: The inconvenient truths about the West. An excellent read – that falls in the same category as RBZ guv’nor’s latest book, Zimbabwe’s Casino Economy – for those with a fetish to bore themselves. Like everybody else, the Prof has the right to freedom of expression and accordingly I will not grudge him that right; he is entitled to his opinion. However, when that opinion is sickeningly and insultingly unenlightened as well as forced down the throats of the very people he invariably calls names, it also becomes a right to demand a certain level of respect from the good Professor.

Here is one guy who is convinced he is surrounded by idiots. In his latest article, the text is littered with words like unstrategic, ignorant, ineffective, uninformed and reckless, pathetic and foolish. All epithets used to describe the actions or the very beings of certain individuals among whom are Botswana President Ian Khama, Kenyan Prime Minister Raila Odinga as well as the Archbishops Desmond Tutu and John Sentamu. Now which 84 year-old does this kind of talk remind you of, anyone?

Clearly, the guy is pissed off with ATANAs (All Talk and No Action) but aren’t we all? Indeed, it has been exhaustingly annoying that all that politicians the world over have been good at doing was to issue endless statements and careless talk that does not articulate solutions while life in Zimbabwe becomes a more classic Hobbesian ‘short, nasty and brutish’ by the day. But to be so disrespectful, while at the same time one is also an ATANA, is the highest level of hypocrisy that demands an outrage. He vaingloriously berates the men and women calling for military intervention to shut up if they are not prepared to shed blood on Zimbabwean soil, because aside from this, that option is to be dismissed based on the repugnancy of the Iraq/ Afghanistan precedent. He is convinced the concerns of ‘Western’ governments are nothing short of being driven by racism and disrespect for African lives. Clearly the Prof does not believe in the existence of goodwill. Neither does he discern the preposterousness of any don’t-give-a-toss-about-Africans racist going out of their way to assist and clamor for the release of the same from the clutches of an Abhurian leader. A leader who is conducting a slow genocide through illegal abductions, denial of food relief to starving citizens as well as the refusal to acknowledge the existence of a deadly water-borne epidemic that is wiping out whole communities.

That sections of the international community have begun to clamor for the unexplored option of military intervention indicates that any plausible diplomatic options, including talks, have simply failed. People are perfectly aware of the risks and possible repercussions Zimbabweans face, you are not surrounded by idiots Prof. However, you will be surprised to find that the dominant sentiment among many a despairing, starving Zimbabwean is kusiri kufa ndekupi? (Which option is not death?).

The professor discusses two other possible options of ousting the incumbent: peaceful mass uprisings/demonstrations and free and fair elections. The former he immediately displays a lack of faith in and dismisses after highlighting the sadly gallant but true ineffectiveness of Zimbabwe civil society strategies that have time and time again failed to command people into joining marches and demonstrations. He describes Zimbabweans as lacking an appetite for an orange revolution. Ouch.

Sadly, I disagree with the Prof on what he deems to be the only way forward for Zimbabwe: free and fair elections. What cave has this man been hiding in? The March 08 election clearly articulated the people’s opinion, despite that certain logistics to do with percentages could not name the people’s choice a clear winner. But despite the fact that even after a rigged election Tsvangirai won, somebody refused to let go of the royal seat, and actually proceeded to unilaterally and unashamedly re-elect himself in a one-man race. Does the Prof sincerely believe such a somebody will one day be capable of partaking a democratic election and humbly exit if he loses; a thing he failed to do earlier when both the people’s open scorn and age beckoned? With or without going through a transitional period of national healing, does he think right thinking citizens are prepared for another brutal election when the trauma that accompanied the last will never be completely erased from their minds? What will make a leopard suddenly change its spots? I thought this does not take Rocket Scientist to figure out; clearly it takes more than that.

In the regard of fresh free and fair elections, Mutambara speaks in normatives that for this option; Mugabe “will have to be part of the transition.” Well how do you make him, Professor, because already, the man has demonstrated an inability to comply with the simple principles of both Universal Suffrage and honor among diplomats?

On negotiations, Mutambara says that because we all (predictably owing to our lack of strategic thinking) sanitized the March 08 farce as a legitimate outcome; it would be foolish to think Mugabe can be negotiated out of power. Well, if the Prof sincerely believes this and lacks faith in the talks, what the hell is he doing tugging along with the white-headed boys in the posh hotels? Nevertheless, it is purely understandable if it is the good food that beckons.

Those who think they are smarter than everyone must map out a good way forward for us seeing they are well placed to do so at the talks. They should desist from engaging unnecessarily in the business of disparaging those of their own caliber and stop insulting us further with the usual platitudes.

Crap, I say.

A colleague phoned yesterday freaked out because there is a dead body of a vagabond lying a short distance from their offices somewhere close to the Grain Marketing Board in Eastlea. Today the body is still there and has apparently started to stink and bloat. The police have for some reason been stalling on collecting it. My friend thinks it’s a bad sign for starting the year.

Another phoned to complain that after struggling all of last year to raise enough money to go and pay lobola for his girl, she has suddenly decided she wants a little more time to achieve a few goals before she can commit herself. Another bad sign perhaps?

Having a positive mindset seems to be a crucial ingredient for survival this year. As long as some things remain unchanged, situations promise to get worse. I find that appreciating the little things in life is good place to start, speaking of which, one kind hearted lady, a work colleague’s mum – sent me a bottle of scented anti-bacterial hand cleanser all the way from DC. That little bottle has become one of the most treasured contents in my sports bag in these times of cholera.

This year I don’t know how others are doing it but I just can’t seem to get enough bus fare to take me to and from work by public transport. Everything simply doesn’t make sense and Zim dollar cash is getting more and more slippery. Frustrated, I’ve just taken to walking whichever routes I can and thankfully, my 5km work route is one of them. The walk is not all that pleasant but is made bearable and less lonely by my trusty Ipod mini coupled with the ability to tell myself this is critical exercise. My butt already feels a tad firmer. The only downside so far is that in unfriendly weather, your water-resistant watch succumbs to the rain.

However, listening to music while I walk is like having a conversation with the artists. Some I disagree with while others I believe should stick to the subject of love because they just don’t know what the hell they are talking about. Among some interesting conversations, Bob Marley talks about the ‘Guiltiness’ that characterizes the lives of politicians whom he refers to as the ‘big fish who always try to eat down the small fish.’ He says, ‘Guiltiness rests on their conscience. They live a life of false pretence everyday. Each and everyday. They would do anything to materialize their every wish.’

Almost suddenly, Celine Dion jumps in and screams ‘I’m alive!’ Which I think is the important thing left when there is nothing else much you can do about the situation around you. That is why I’m going to thank God each day I’m alive this year because it’s nothing short of a miracle under the circumstances. In Zimbabwe if you can still enjoy a few pleasures of life, it’s only decent to be thankful and enjoy them to the fullest.