MPs and mercs make me sick.

I read with interest that Eric Matinenga, the new minister of constitutional and parliamentary affairs, tried to get MDC MPs to take a united stand and turn down the fancy Mercedes Benz that Mugabe was giving every newly appointed minister. Eric didn’t get much success. Well unless you count David Coltart who said no thanks. The others said yes to their new status symbol, including Eric .

We need an audit.

We need an audit of this kind of thoughtless expenditure whilst Zimbabweans are starving and whilst our politicians ask for a bail out.

We need an audit of the perks and pleasures being handed out to this unwanted bloated new government.

We need an audit of the “ghosts” on the civil service payroll; we need to weed them out before asking foreign governments to pay our wage bills.

We need an audit of the number of farms under Mugabe’s land reform program that are actually being worked rather than laying idle before we ask foreign governments to give us money; money without conditions.

Reuters reports that “The government is seeking $5 billion. Winning that, however, depends on Western donors being satisfied that a democratic government is in place and that economic reforms are being implemented to reverse a decade-long collapse which Mugabe’s critics blame on his policies.”

Quite clearly there isn’t a democratic government in place. There is a political arrangement in place. And until those in power take reform in all its forms seriously, they shouldn’t get a cent.

I received an email today from CHIPAWO with the title Hooray for Zimbabwe! So, in the pursuit of sharing something positive, here’s a story to feel uplifted by.

Some time back, CHIPAWO acquired a very nice Renault minibus – from someone who said he was doing us a favour! The only problem – which I am sure he was well aware of – was that it is an extremely rare kind of Renault. Even Renault in South Africa did not even know it existed! I had to track it down on the internet and discovered that it mostly served as an ambulance in Germany and the UK!

I did once find a place in London that specialises in Renaults and they provided me with a coil. But then we needed a distributor and nothing could be found. So it has been standing around for a long time in a new coat of yellow paint – one of CHIPAWO’s colours – looking rather regal and distinguished.  It managed to crawl once to Mutare for the Africa University Arts Festival last year but got no further than Marondera on the return and had to be towed. When we had to leave the CHIPAWO office, it came here and joined the queue in my driveway of CHIPAWO non-runners.

I SOS’ed someone in London, rather aplogetically mumbling something about I know this is not exactly his cup of tea and so forth and and asked him if he could scout around. This was his reply:

“I’m afraid the news is not good for your van.  According to a Renault spare parts specialist that van is “extremely rare” and one would struggle to find the part in question.  I will continue to look but I just thought I would let you know that the prognosis is not good.”

Gloom and doom? Oh, no! Despite years of multiple meltdowns, collapses, disintegration, bloodbaths, genocide, mass starvation and lethal epidemics all reported on or prophesied for Zimbabwe, we still stand. How? Listen to this!

A little man down the road in Mountbatten Drive, Marlborough, Harare, not far from Greencroft of glorious memory, called Va Makonya, has left all the boffins in South Africa and the UK with egg on their faces. Va Mokonya decided to tackle the problem that had stumped the world. He looked for a distributor which looked like it might fit. He fiddled and filed and welded and willed it to work. And after countless little adjustments and tinkerings, yesterday afternoon, under his patient hands, the dragon roared into life, full of French esprit, elan, eclat, eclair and all that.

By the way I am eating a superior Zimbabwean jam doughnut right now as I write – don’t tell me anything about Dunkin’ Donuts’!

And so three cheers for the little man. Three cheers for the Fifth World – we must have gone down a few divisions by now. And three cheers for Zimbabwe!

The political arrangement in Zimbabwe between Zanu PF and the MDC has challenged those of us who are more idealistic than pragmatic. Some people say the arrangement is a good thing believing that it will put bread back on the table. Others, like a man who walked into my office the other day, said that democracy has been eaten up and crapped out.

The President of Botswana, Ian Khama recently described developments in Zimbabwe and Kenya as “bad precedents for the democracy in the continent.”

Writing for ISN Security Watch, Edoardo Totolo discusses power sharing in Africa. Here’s an excerpt

Power sharing, therefore, is a dilemma for post-conflict development theorists: It represents a compromise that can halt conflict and save lives in the short-term at the expense of good-governance and long-term political stability.

As Zanu PF and the MDC ask for foreign aid to set the recovery of Zimbabwe in motion, land invasions are still in full swing. From Chiredzi we’ve just received this report:

On Sunday the Deputy Commissioner of Police Veterai, who was partially occupying Digby Nesbitts homestead in the presence of the Nesbitts since Jan. 2008, has now moved in totally taking over all the house hold goods and furnishings and has also forced away all the workforce from their housing on the farm. This has left the crocodile farm with no one to feed and medicate the crocodiles. Veterai took advantage of the Nesbitts whilst they were South Africa. So one of the highest ranking policemen in Zimbabwe is nothing but a thief with no compassion or sense decency.

Zimbabwe is the world’s third largest food aid consumer and still Mugabe sanctions land invasions, and still Mugabe and Tsvangirai go cap in hand to the World Bank, the IMF, South Africa, the UK (etc, etc) for a bail out.

Sick, isn’t it.

It’s also sick that Mugabe lives a lavish lifestyle whilst millions of Zimbabweans rely on food aid to keep them going.

In Robert Calderisi’s book The Trouble with Africa: why foreign aid isn’t working takes leaders like Mugabe to task and has suggestions of how to get Africa working again. Here are two ideas that should be engaged immediately:

Introduce mechanisms for tracing and recovering public funds
The world’s greatest gift to Africa’s democrats would be to stop the amassing of illegal fortunes by its politicians and senior officials in foreign banks. Closing safe havens for illicit money would be a major building block of political reform in Africa.

Require all heads of state, ministers, and senior officials to open their bank accounts to public scrutiny
Openness about personal finances would build confidence within the African public and identify those with something to hide. In a continent as poor as Africa, there should not be many legitimate millionaires in government. As African corruption is the worst in the world, officials should long ago have lost the right to have unexamined bank accounts. If countries refuse to accept such constraints, they should not be asking for aid.

Sindiso Nyoni is a seriously talented designer. Marklives.com! shares several of Nyoni’s anti xenophobia posters based on the Universal Declaration of Human Rights articles. His work addresses the xenophobic attacks in South Africa in 2008.

The inclusion of a cockroach is a chilling reminder of the Rwandan genocide. And the poster contains the highly inflammatory word Kaffir. In this regard I liked what Mark had to say

Mark knows the word Kaffir to be of the worst sort. We were not going to publish it until the team realised we had no such qualms with the word Kwerekwere. It is time South Africans realise the one is interchangeable with the other. Both are disrespectful, both dehumanise. Its time we see these words used in the same sentence, for it to be underlined, they serve the same purpose. They are both evil.

Meanwhile Zimbabwean refugees in South Africa continue to experience callous treatment.

How about this web site launched in November 2008 – Refugees United – what an amazing idea.

Refugees United – created by Danish brothers David and Christopher Mikkelsen – is a site for the estimated 32 million refugees currently scattered around the world. Christopher explains: “The reason refugees can’t find each other is because of a logistical breakdown. They need a global registry.” Refunite.org, launched in November 2008, enables refugees to upload profiles referring to body markings, initials or village of birth rather than using their name. Friends and family can then make contact anonymously. The Danes have an equally novel approach to the running of their organisation. David explains: “We didn’t approach people for money, we asked them to give us their expertise.” So far so good, as corporate giants such as FedEx have come on board and a prominent board of directors, including the industry head of Danish Google, offers strategy advice. Source: Monocle