The 10 Commandments of the Feeding Trough
In Zimbabwe there is bountiful enjoyment by an elite few who are favoured to partake from the lofty feeding trough. After all, it provides generous sustenance for their privileged lives. Not surprisingly, many of us mere citizens wish to one day be among the chosen who take their place and gorge at the feeding trough too. However, a word of caution. The preservation of feeding trough’s status quo is pivotal and is guarded at all costs. The blood of many has been spilled for it.
Read and understand the laws that govern the feeding trough and then decide if you are still willing and able.
1. You shall have no other masters except those at the feeding trough; they who brought you out of slavery. Neither shall you have close friends from outside the feeding trough. For your colleagues at the feeding trough are jealous colleagues and they will not hesitate to punish the fault of the father in the sons, grandsons, great grandsons, distant relatives, family pets or tea cups.
2. You shall not speak ill of the feeding trough or utter its name in misuse. For this will not go unpunished. Food poisoning cures anyone’s inability to keep their mouth shut.
3. Observe the customs of the feeding trough and keep them sacred. Lengthy periods spent languishing in jail have been known to remind the errant of the importance of the hierarchy at the feeding trough. Neglecting to pay tithes can lead to banishment or even death.
4. Honour the feeding trough’s god-father and patriarch so that you may have a long, accident-free life. Elevation and prosperity are the rewards of those who take heed.
5. You shall not kill any colleague at the feeding trough, unless this is deemed necessary and you are instructed to.
6. You shall not commit adultery with the spouse of any colleague at the feeding trough, unless this is deemed necessary and you are instructed to.
7. You shall not steal from another at the feeding trough. Theft from a fellow colleague will result in the pain of death. Theft from anyone else will result in the easy accumulation of great wealth.
8. You shall not bear witness, truthful or otherwise, against others at the feeding trough. This is tantamount to treason and can only lead to the loss of life … yours.
9. You shall not covet the god-father’s position. Should you discuss or even think about this, you will find yourself consumed in a blazing inferno, with no one coming to your aid, and there will be grinding and gnashing of teeth.
10. You shall not set your heart on the wife, house, fields or wealth of a colleague at the feeding trough. However, should your desires for these become too great and you set about to make them you own, don’t get caught. If your space at the feeding trough increases, questions won’t be asked. Such is the way of life at the feeding trough and everyone will have to leave at sometime.