No Strings Attached
During the weekend my single girlfriends and I were discussing the perils of dating in Zimbabwe. One girlfriend said that married men propositioned her regularly at work. Others had regular girlfriends on the side. We were shocked. What happened to love and the sanctity of marriage?
Of course some men will argue that this is Africa and monogamy is a European construct, that our culture permits polygamy, that women out number men, and their millions of years old biological imperative, that should have become extinct with the Neanderthals, to populate the earth is difficult to ignore. The religious might even quote God’s “Go forth and multiply”, and who can argue with God?
Surfing the Internet a few days ago I came across a dating forum on classifieds.co.zw. Among the men and women, whose pain and loneliness was palpable in the text of their personal ads, were a few married but available men:
Married but willing to explore: am married but would want to spice my life a bit with someone similar probably share experiences and passion but just a discreet relationship no strings attached (nsa)
Lets have fun NSA period! :… I am a funny dude who loves older open minded NSA ladies, who are funny to hang out and go out with …. email or call me on weekends only
With arrogance and assumed impunity both of these have posted their names, phone numbers and even pictures. They are well educated. One even works in development, where one would assume he should be more enlightened than the average man.
Love is hard, sex is easy. But at a time when HIV/AIDS exists because no one thinks it can happen to them isn’t a no strings attached non-relationship risking too much? It’s not just men who should be held responsible its women too. It is impossible to cheat without a willing partner. The men, who propositioned my friend, knew she knew they were married. I’m sure it wasn’t the first time they had thought to have a little fun with the pretty young thing in the office, and by extension experience has taught them that it doesn’t matter, pretty young things don’t care whether they are married or not.