Kubatana.net ~ an online community of Zimbabwean activists

Musing marriage

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The past times that I have put my thoughts on paper I have been talking woman on this and that. You will have to forgive me for that. I know no other life. If I was a guy, sure I would write about guy issues, but I am not. I am going to write about what I know best which is being a woman and its challenges, and boy are there many in this day and age. We are still pretty much in the stone age if women are being married by a dozen to one man and some women still don’t have a choice about whom they get married to, let alone what age they get married at.

I have come to realize in the past month that I have come back to work at Kubatana that there is more to life than what meets the eye. I did not know that I had so many misconceptions about marriage until it was shown to me. For one, your husband does not need a good reason to want a divorce from you. He can say that he has grown tall and he doesn’t want to stay with a wife who is not growing as tall as he is, for all the court cares. There is no way you can say that’s a silly reason. The court will call it irretrievable breakdown and just like that you are divorced. For those that have not caught my flow I am just trying to highlight some misconceptions that we have as women when it comes to marriage.

The other thing that happens during divorce proceedings is that fifty fifty song that has been sung to us, is quite misleading. When you divorce you don’t get fifty percent, you take what you worked for, and what has your name on it. The fifty percent comes when the two of you had duel ownership. If he was buying cars or bought the house you lived in and your name appears on the title did then you get fifty fifty? And don’t think because you are the mother of the children that you automatically get the kids. The court looks at who earns the most money even though it’s advisable for a child to stay with its mother. For those who did not know, when your husband commits adultery you can file a lawsuit not against him, but his partner. Now how many court sessions are you going to go to, if he is a born cheat? How many women are you going to sue in the lifetime of your marriage?

Crazy isn’t it.

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