Money for marriage
Last week in the Mail & Guardian a South Africa paper, I read a story on wedding contributions titled, “I’m getting married, please send money” which has become a culture in Tanzania. In a nutshell this means that when one is getting married they send out an invitation asking for contributions from friends, relatives and colleagues. Erick Mchome, who wrote the article from Dar es Salaam, quoted this text from a card:
“The family of so-and-so is happy to inform you that their beloved son/daughter is getting married in October. We have a pleasure to ask you for your participation by contributing some money and moral support. Please give the money to the one who gave you this card or contact the phone numbers below.”
I found this shocking, but I then recalled it’s their culture. In my mind I quickly brushed it off and said not in Zimbabwe! I just found it outrageous to be asking everyone for ‘financial’ support for a wedding. Just when I thought it wouldn’t happen in my country, I got the shock of my life! A guy walked past our office and gave me a paper saying please contribute towards this … I hesitantly took the paper thinking its one of those church building, school function donation forms, only to read PLEASE CONTRIBUTE TOWARDS OUR WEDDING! I just gazed at the paper horrified.
I am now sitting in the office, and saying to myself that Tanzanians do the contribution stuff better than the Zimbabwean I met, who literally asks for something from anyone! Having a big, colourful wedding is everyone’s dream, but if you cant afford one, should you then go around ‘begging’ for a wedding contribution? My Pastor at church, who is a marriage officer, always tells us that money should not stop people from getting married legally. He actually says that those who can’t afford to have the big ‘white wedding’ can bring in their witnesses, and parents to his office, get married and celebrate eating home baked scones! My sister had a court wedding. They went to court with their witnesses and a few relatives, came home and we celebrated and blessed them! Its almost 15 years later now but we still marvel at the pictures and even though I was still in primary school I can remember her gown. It didn’t cost much but at least it was something that they and the immediate family could afford to have.
My friends and relatives, I am not expecting to receive a card inviting me to contribute towards your wedding! I would rather support you any way I can even if it means me merely hooking you up with the best florist in town…and of course I wont forget to bring that traditional wedding gift for you and your loved one to bless you on your day.