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Election time: let the headlines speak!

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Election time is always an opportunity for media hacks to practice a bit of creative writing and come up with that they imagine are funky headlines, puns and even shocking claims, never mind that many have been left ruing their creativity after the elections sprung shocks they wouldn’t have imagined.

Because Zimbabwe’s politics have been defined through very false black/white right/left dichotomies, this has been enough to have any writer or news outlet who favours one particular party to stretch their imagination despite all evidence to the contrary.

It is in news writing where clairvoyants would come in handy as part of the newsroom team!

While not exactly a news item, the International Relations and Security Network (ISN) carried an opinion piece headlined: “Mugabe Likely to Win Elections, But Who Will Lead Zimbabwe Next?” and it is one of those analyses which when you read it, raises questions about the logic of going to elections in the first place when the winner has already been determined. One has to live on the streets of Zimbabwe’s major cities to get a pulse of what such scenarios would mean in the event the people’s will is subverted.

Another local opinion piece carried by Newsday and written by MDC-T senior official Obert Gutu titled “Why Tsvangirai will be next President”
offers another long perspective on why Mugabe long lost his relevance to Zimbabwean politics, but then that can be expected from someone whose leader is contesting against Mugabe.

Yet another headline in the same paper says “Ncube’s journey to State House” in reference to Welshman Ncube whom the Herald, most interestingly, now says is expected to “give a good account of himself as his party has moved from being a splinter group to a full-fledged political outfit.” I imagine this means the Herald is then awake to the possibility that Ncube can indeed cause a major upset and end Mugabe’s political career?

The Herald carried a story headlined “Zanu-PF has transformed lives: Mujuru” and it’s stuff that one reads and says, perhaps I have been away too long. You still get such reports despite these being the same people who have begged President Sata for maize to feed starving millions here, but then in election time, voters are not expected to question such wild claims! And newsmen and women simply regurgitate the speechifying without reminding the speaker of the painful irony of such claims. But then that would mean losing your job!

Of course I found it strange that The Herald would run a story that was lifted from the Guardian (UK) that ostensibly predicts a Mugabe victory where the British paper cites Simon Khaya-Moyo saying rather laughably about Mugabe: “He is a very strong man. He will serve as long as people want him to serve.”

Or from Blessing-Miles Tendi, “a political analyst who has attended seven of the rallies” whom the Guardian quotes: “Mugabe is good at recreating himself depending on the national and international dynamics of the time. That’s why he has lasted so long.” Really?

The Herald also picks a story from the Independent (UK) titled “Odds stacked against Morgan Tsvangirai as Robert Mugabe scents victory in Zimbabwe” and chooses to ignore the sidebar: “Odds stacked against Tsvangirai as opposition candidates are harassed and fake voter registration appears widespread.”

The same Independent has another story headlined: “Fear and optimism mix as people face into another Mugabe-rigged election.” Just to lift one paragraph from that piece: Little wonder that for all their usual threats, abuse of patronage and ballot-rigging, Robert Mugabe’s Zanu-PF party was trounced in 2008. Mugabe was, reportedly, ready to stand down. Instead, the generals and goons who really run the country and rip off its resources unleashed a campaign of extreme violence while they fiddled the vote to keep their man in power. I would like to see the Herald quote that!

An editorial comment in South Africa’s Timeslive titled “Zimbabweans must accept that freedom is not easily won” The comment continued: “With many seeking a better life abroad instead of working at home for the change they want, we are likely to have a Zimbabwean problem for years to come. It is said that the day the citizenry is willing to suffer for a better tomorrow is the day their fortunes will turn for the better. Have Zimbabweans reached that stage? Are they willing to roll up their sleeves to shape their tomorrow? South Africa and other countries that have fought oppression and mismanagement by a few went through a painful process to achieve their desired outcome. Zimbabweans should be prepared to do the same.”

But this drew outrage from readers with one writing under the headline: “SA is complicit in Mugabe’s tyranny” that “Zimbabweans have demonstrated their opposition to the tyranny of Robert Mugabe often enough, only to be subjected to brutal repression by the security apparatus, leaving many dead and maimed, and others homeless.”

The writer added: “As long as the African Union, the South African Development Community and our own government turn a blind eye to intimidation and accept the flawed outcome of the elections Zimbabwe will continue on its downward spiral.”

Newsmen and women are surely being kept busy by this election!

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