So it is not just women whose “socialised” self may place them at risk. The social pressure on men to be tough, in control and not to react, combined with fear of losing respect and of real financial loss, loss of their children and more can keep a man hanging on in an unbearably painful and abusive relationship where abuse can be both physical or non-physical, or both.

Which is not to detract for one moment from any of the pain and suffering of women in abusive relationships, whose vulnerability is quite obvious. It’s simply to suggest that a basic male/female or man/woman polarity does not work very well, nor help very much, when trying to understand why people of either gender or any sexual orientation, stick around so long in unsatisfying, miserable and abusive relationships.

Sally D
South Africa